Back from trip

[Kimmyness]

Hello,

I posted in this forum earlier this year about a former coworker I was meeting in NY towards the end of last month. I’ve been back from that trip for a little over a week now. I thought the in person meeting went well. We saw him everyday, he was very sweet , going into the city with us everyday and even paying for things. I THOUGHT he felt the same way and enjoyed it as much as we did, it seemed that way at first. While we were there, one of his employees was fired, he was pushing me to apply for the job which I agreed to at first but once I compared the benefits with my current job, I told him I would not be applying. I’ve been at my current job for 8 yrs. If I left, I would be starting all over. The company he works for offers fewer paid holidays, less PTO, the medical insurance is a little more expensive and bonuses aren’t guaranteed. He says he could get me higher hourly pay but does that make up for fewer benefits? From what I can tell, the only benefit to switching is working with him again and overtime since my job no longer offers it. I just didn’t think I’d be making a wise choice by leaving. Anyway, he has been less communicative with me since I turned the job down. He called me the night we came back home mostly to talk about the job and I asked if he was being so nice to me because he wanted me to come work for him. He laughed and said no but now I’m really wondering if that was the case. My question is, should I continue to reach out to him? He replies to my messages but doesn’t seem to initiate unless it’s work related. I asked him how he felt about meeting in person and he never replied but a few mins later told me someone else turned the job down.

[Noel Eastwood]

Hi Kim, I'll try to help you with this, so please bear with me. Firstly, has there been any real relationship between you? I mean any kissing or touching, more than going out for coffee? If he has gone cold on you I'd be letting this go.

Now for the transits. It seems that Neptune has been playing around with you for some time. It is opposite your Moon, exactly opposite, and that usually means confusion, loneliness and feeling left out. It is not a nice experience, especially someone with Jupiter on the cusp of Gemini. So I'd say that you will, at times, go looking for someone even though they aren't the one.

This Neptune thing is going to last for a year or so and it not something you will enjoy. This on-again-off-again of relationships takes up time and energy. It does move off some time mid year so hang in there.

You have a bright and bubbly side to you that calls for fun times, that's the Jupiter in Gemini thing, so let that out and have some fun. As you said in your post he is not showing any interest in a relationship, so let him do his thing. If he is Mr Right, then he will come around and you won't need to do anything.

[Kimmyness]

Hello,

No I suppose no real relationship. I spent five days in NY and he came out to the city with us everyday. He lives on Long Island and my daughter and I stayed in Queens which is about an hour and a half drive for him so that was very sweet plus he picked us up from the airport and spent everyday with us even paying for things.No kissing just hugs. I didn’t feel getting physical was the smartest thing to do first time meeting in person. We’ve been in contact for three years now so it’s hard to let it go especially because there seemed to be a connection .

[Kimmyness]

It also isn’t that he isn’t communicating at all. He replies to my texts and initiated a few times since we’ve been back. Maybe I’m feeling insecure because so much of the focus of our conversations have been about applying for this job. I also know that he’s short around 3 people so he might be overwhelmed with work. I’m just wondering if this whole relationship we have is just a work relationship to him. I guess that confuses me a little because he put so much effort into spending time with us while we were in NY and spent money he had no reason to spend. Even before we physically met, he’s bought a few things .. a bouquet of flowers when I had to put one if my dogs down, an air fryer another time because I was talking about wanting one, a tire pressure gauge which yes I know isn’t an extravagant gift but it’s the thought behind it. Maybe I’m being a little sensitive, I’m not sure but I guess I’m just wondering if I should back off a little and let him initiate more.

Thanks

[Noel Eastwood]

I think back off for now and see what happens. Only the flowers speaks of relationship, but then, that Neptune is going to confuse your thoughts both ways, yes and no. So yeah, just back up a bit and see how it plays out for now.

[Kimmyness]

Ok will do. I’ve really approached this situation as level headed as possible. He is legally married and has been separated from his wife since 2019. I’m not stupid, I realize the fact that neither has filed for divorce means something. From my perspective, she is enjoying the financial aspect of staying married but she certainly doesn’t love him enough to be faithful. From his perspective, he is still hoping things may work out one day. I’ve only seen him as a friend even though there’s been some flirting and he has made comments about cutting her off financially. To me, there was no need to go out of his way to spend time with us. When I told him I was going to NY, I only asked if he wanted to get lunch or dinner. HE volunteered to pick us up from the airport and spend everyday with us. I’ve made it very clear to him that I would never get involved with someone separated because my last ex was also separated at the time we got together and I realize now it probably wasn’t the best way to start a relationship. I came to the realization that my feelings are deeper than what I thought after actually meeting him in person, he’s made several comments about coming back but again the focus of conversation has been the job he’s trying to fill. I’m just hoping the fact I turned him down for it isnt going to affect things negatively . I’ll back off a bit.