Conflicts with father and mother.

[Sijju]

I'm facing conflicts into family,from a bossy mother and a bossy father,they know that i'm in a low mental condition and they just keep bullying(mother about my overweight i gained due to antidepressants),keep critisizing negative,about i'm now unemployed,about not having friends and a girl,that i fault etc.

I always disagree with my father,he can't accept that i have different view in life for some things and areas,he most times bring me down my psychology and i'm leaving the conversation dissapointed and with anger.Fathers should be the example for their sons,in my case i never felt emotional connection with my own father,he don't know how to approach his son and support him emotionally,from childhood i had a fear for this person.

In the other hand,my mother,always critizing me negative and compare me with others that they did it better in career or in other areas of life,too bossy when i'm overweight,looking to me with one eye from the corner to see if i have a fat belly or if i look fat in the mirror.

This is a toxic family enviroment,too bad i cannot have a good salary and stable job so to leave from there and find peace.

I think from childhood years,specific from 16-17 yo started to have complexes,to have insecurites,fears,low self esteem cause my parents weren't there for support,just i listened to them saying how bad i was in school,that why i don't have friends to go out and it's a fault of me and more.Conflicts,noise,anger,dissagreements.

[Sijju]

Again,conficlits,disagreements,tensions in conversations with father,i don't know what is wrong with him,i feel him like enemy than a supportive person to me. Give a read to this father,don't know,always he affected me negative from early years.

[admin]

Hi Sijju,

If you'd like to give me the birth data or both your parents, I'll look at this matter more closely.

Best,
Admin.

[Sijju]

Father details are 15/10/1956,with uknown hour,mother details are 7/10/1963 with uknown hour too,can't remember the hours of their birth.Issues come with both bossy parents but main issue is conficts with a cold,without emotions and unsupportive father that creating to me fear from childhood years,i recieve anger,conflict,dissagrements and no emotional support,even now i have a struggling time in mental health and employment.

[admin]

Sijju, you and your father are more alike than you may care to believe.  And certainly he has high expectations of you...to fulfil the same expectations he had of himself but which he hasn't been able to live up to in his own mind.  So, when he sees you 'failing', it's like looking into a mirror of his own self-disappointment, or perhaps even of HIS father's disappointment in him not fulfilling his father's expectations.

Sounds complicated, but hopefully you can see this in your relationship with him and can understand at least that it's not YOU, but your father's feeling that he failed to live up to his own self-expectations.  If you can, then at least perhaps you'll see your relationship with him in a different light and see him with a little more compassion and understanding ?  

There's a lot of Virgo (at its best - great attention to detail...at its worst - nit-picking and carping) in all 3 of your charts, and very much so with regard to your mother's going on about your weight, etc.   She perhaps wishes you had the drive and sense of adventure she would like to have had the opportunity for herself, but didn't have.  

She has Sun and Venus in Libra - the Sign of 'beauty' and of comparison with 'perfect form', which adds to her disappointment with regard to your weight-gain.  
There's much you can learn from her if only you could both get past this pattern of responses to each other that has developed and got stuck in the same old routine and habitual way. 

Her Neptune/Mars in Scorpio is conjunct your Venus, so you easily misunderstand each other and so it doesn't take make both of you angry and full of deep resentment, which you both may tend to hold onto and keep deep memories of...which then resurfaces constantly every time you get into these battles.   In other words, neither of you will 'let go' of any argument until one of you has won.  But, there is no 'winner' there as you both go away and keep going over and over what each of you has said or done.  

This is all a very very brief overview of such complex relationships.  But it does seem clear that it's up to you to find a way or ways to change this, and that you won't do so whilst you're living with them, as all this does is create a deeper and deeper rut in which you and your mother and father will all settle, endlessly reacting towards each other in exactly the same ways.

Best,
Admin.

[Sijju]

My father doesn't seem to have any love for me.

[Sijju]

These are the synastry's with both my parents,seperate with father and mother,they seem not to understand my emotional needs,since 20 yo,they only know how to compare me in a badly way with the others and say how the others can this,that,or complaining that is my fault i lack friends or don't have girlfriend all over the years,meanwhile,conflicts,dissagreements,lack of communication and to understand each other.My needs,are different from what they think or supposed that know that i need.They are both bossy when it comes to career,negative criticizing,about failing in my studies or whatelse difficulty i had so far in my life.

When your family don't support you,you are just alone to face all your personal issues,i payed alone my psychotherapy so far,i just had some financial help from them at the start for some sessions and nothing more,i stopped every therapy as currently unemployed,i cannot support the high cost of them.

[Sijju]

Bump! bump!

[admin]

Sjju,

I had already set up and looked at those charts and comparisons with your chart, about which I had replied to you in my previous post here.

Admin.

[Sijju]

Sjju,

I had already set up and looked at those charts and comparisons with your chart, about which I had replied to you in my previous post here.

Admin.

And what was your conclusion about the relationship of me and my both parents,why there are conflicts and if these will ease if someday i will leave this house,parents house,huh? They should be more supportive as parents and not only negative criticizing!