I'm suffering.

This area is for WESTERN ASTROLOGY INTERPRETATIONS AND REPLIES ONLY. Please provide your Birth Date, Place and Time of Birth and ensure that your data is correct before posting.
* Please note that your post cannot be edited or deleted after your query has been responded to, except by request to Admin or Moderators.
Post Reply
Mortificate
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2021 8:16 pm
Contact:

I'm suffering.

Post by Mortificate »

Hello. I am 20 years old and I almost never felt good in my life. I have several mental disorders(Bipolar, adhd, ocd) issues with stomach, restlessness, nightmares. I felt weak, humiliated and misunderstood my entire life. I struggle to meet new people, never had significant other. All of this creates horrendous emotional turmoil in me. Sometimes I feel so enraged that I almost feel my insides vibrating. Other times I drown in despair and lethargy. I cannot find middle ground in any emotional polarities. What is it in my birth chart that makes me go through hell with no redemption at the horizon?
User avatar
Never_give_up
Posts: 103
Joined: Mon Sep 07, 2020 2:06 am

Re: I'm suffering.

Post by Never_give_up »

Mortificate wrote: Sun Nov 07, 2021 3:16 am Hello. I am 20 years old and I almost never felt good in my life.
What is it in my birth chart that makes me go through hell with no redemption at the horizon?
You are only 20 years old, Mortificate - do you still live at home together with your parents ?

We humans are all shaped from our parents - own mother/mother figure and own father/father figure and experiences in childhood.

How you personally feel, your emotions, your basic trust in life and how you feel and felt yourself welcomed and at home - and welcomed to earth in general - how you feel yourself nurtured in your own needs - is shown with sign in 4th house - capricorn in your chart - ruled by saturn. Saturn in gemini in 8th house - ruled by venus as taurus ruler.

Capricorn in 4th house often shows a lonely and left alone child and that you had to early take responsibility for your own and on your own - and to better not to disturb your mother with your own needs and keep yourself silent and try to kinda be invisible - Neptune in your 7th house - often overwhelmed from everything.

Neptune in 4th often talks about missing mother - experiencing that mother as a mother is and was not or could not be available for you. And that you learned early to build up very high sensitive perception antennas for tiniest changes in your surroundings -- to protect yourself - or to play/feign dead -or to put yourself under a glass bell - to ignore all what surrounds you. Neptune in 4th house - semisextiling moon. Neptune ruling 6th house - is about what we learn and had to learn early.

4th house is also mother and mother experience in childhood. Saturn- representing your own mother is in your 8th house and opposes zero degree exact your natal pluto in 2nd house already at point of your birth - showing special and dangerous circumstances around your birth - which are able to take impact on you - in later life- too. With uranus ruling your 5th house sitting critically exact on cusp of your 5th house and self-liberation axis 5th/11th house - your mother probably had difficulties with your father. Who probably was not prepared to have a child - that time in his life.

Pluto in 2nd also rules your 2nd - is your self-protection energy and 2nd house is a physical body house house of physical body existence and growth. 8th house in opposite to 2nd house - is about death and near to death experience in own life, shock and trauma and life threatening dangerous events.

It looks like that at point of your birth - your mother had to fight for your life - saturn sextiles your sun - but was herself in a very existentially difficult situation in her life - and that you probably felt yourself rejected from her at first arrival on earth here.

You - as a little baby - may have witnessed your mother's feelings at that point - and in a helpless state and probably took subconsciously over some of her emotions over and stored them in your subconsciousness. And probably also felt yourself kinda for - because as a little baby -you were not yet able to sort out or in -what was the true reality.

How is and was your mother experience ? And is your father - as male gender support - still available in your life ?

With neptune in 4th house zero degree exact semisextiling your moon in mental mind 3rd house - and moon semisquared by uranus you are a very high sensitive person, open for outer influence like a sponge and very high sensitive reacting on outer influence and even on not loud spoken out words.

And outer influence from time to time can get exaggerating and overfloating - with moon opposing your jupiter in spiritual 9th house - jupiter as ruler of your 3rd house. You have difficulties to sort and to find out what in your head and in your mind - is from you and what from others. It is like you are not really able to stop your thoughts and to shut your head/mental mind completely - to find a rest for yourself and to relax.

And you are continously kinda under a stress challenge - fighting against you - feeling yourself as not good and not intelligent and not well educated enough not complying with your own high standards of perfection - jupiter in 9th house has - with jupiter zero degree exact semisextiling your leo mercury in 10th house - mercury ruling your 9th house.

And jupiter has a tendency to exaggerate own self-demands on high perfection standards - a lot. Able to keep thoughts running in a firy circle - and able to turn getting self-destructive - if not having success. Jupiter rules your mental mind and thoughts.

And sending it out like an energetical radiance - others can notice from you - and then react on accordingly - avoiding to be near to you. Mars sitting in 3rd house - rules your 7th - encountering people.

You are still young - where are you in your life now actually ? What about education and job/work ?
User avatar
Never_give_up
Posts: 103
Joined: Mon Sep 07, 2020 2:06 am

Re: I'm suffering.

Post by Never_give_up »

Never_give_up wrote: Sun Nov 07, 2021 10:21 am Able to keep thoughts running in a firy circle - and able to turn getting self-destructive - if not having success. Jupiter rules your mental mind and thoughts.
And then losing your faith in all, in yourself - in a higher protecting power above you - and lose your complete self-trust - initiated by your thoughts - which then cause self-destructive feelings - not reversed.

Spirituality and expanding knowledge and wisdom and education - is shown as a fated task in your chart for you - jupiter conjuncts your gemini northnode in your 9th house.
Mortificate
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2021 8:16 pm
Contact:

Re: I'm suffering.

Post by Mortificate »

Thank you for replies. Actually, you got most of it right. Can we talk private? I can not spill any more details in public forum.
User avatar
Never_give_up
Posts: 103
Joined: Mon Sep 07, 2020 2:06 am

Re: I'm suffering.

Post by Never_give_up »

I understand what you mean and I can fully respect that one doesn't want to tell all private things on a public forum.

But to be honest- I'm pers. and in general not a fan and not a friend of pms - I like more to write on forum level.

-Sorry-.
Mortificate
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2021 8:16 pm
Contact:

Re: I'm suffering.

Post by Mortificate »

I understand, no problem. But lastly, could you tell me how much internal power I have, based on chart, to handle all of this?
User avatar
Never_give_up
Posts: 103
Joined: Mon Sep 07, 2020 2:06 am

Re: I'm suffering.

Post by Never_give_up »

Mortificate wrote: Mon Nov 08, 2021 4:41 am But lastly, could you tell me how much internal power I have, based on chart, to handle all of this?
But for this is necessary to know - where you are in your life now. Are you medically diagnozed - yes or no. Do you have a job - yes or no. Do you have any education - yes or no.

You will not be able to manage your life - if you are not able to get independant and earn money for your own existence. Whatever your chart tells from energies you have available for use and to solve your issues. If you don't make use of them - it will happen nothing and it will stay same as it is now - for long.
Mortificate
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2021 8:16 pm
Contact:

Re: I'm suffering.

Post by Mortificate »

Is anyone still available for chat?
admin
Site Admin
Posts: 3116
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 1970 10:00 am
Location: Australia
Contact:

Re: I'm suffering.

Post by admin »

Hi Mortificate,

I can't see where you've posted your chart details so would you please provide them ?
(You can pm me with this data if you wish it to remain private).

Best,
Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 9 guests