We can't we live together and not without eachother?

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gerdahagge
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We can't we live together and not without eachother?

Post by gerdahagge »

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4,5 years and lived together for almost 3 years. We are fighting all the time, because of his spoilt children and because he is a stubborn and strong willed taurus, while I'm a confused pieces.

Could someone please look into our synastry to see if there is any chance for us, because the way we are right now is killing us. The love is very strong, but we both have a strong will and i am not the person he can change into a kind and naive woman. I do everything exactly how i want, and so does he.

Would so much appreciate your help in our chart.
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admin
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Re: We can't we live together and not without eachother?

Post by admin »

Hi gerdehagge,

So sorry for the long delay. (have been grappling with flood problems and computer issues).

First thing I see is that, yes, with your Jupiter/Uranus/South Node in conjunction and in sextile to your Asc., you are certainly "your own person" and if he can't accept this then of course the relationship will have problems.
Then add that he too, with his Mars conjunct Uranus and Pluto opposite his Saturn, he also has a very strong will and if he doesn't get his own way, then sparks will (and clearly do) surely fly.

With just these aspects, constant close contact (like living together) is likely to result in constant flare-ups so you need to have breaks from each other periodically to ease the constant strain.  Uranus, above all, needs freedom and independence, and can't tolerate too much closeness as it feels like it can't breathe.  (If you can't do this, then perhaps you might need to live separately.  This doesn't mean the end of the relationship, but sometimes it can actually solve such issues and keep the relationship alive and strong).

Your Mercury in Aquarius (communication) can perhaps see the bigger picture, and it's in good aspect to both your Ascendant and to his, so even though you may have difficulty getting your point across to him, if anyone can do this, you can.  He has Mercury in quick-speaking Aries, so he may tend to move too fast mentally and say things he doesn't always mean, and/or can't express exactly what he means at the time.
This then results in your getting confused and unable to express yourself clearly.  And so it escalates until you erupt and you both end up frustrated.

Looking at the Composite, there's a lot of strength in this relationship but you both need to learn how to talk to and listen to each other (naturally necessary for any relationship to survive).  And you may need counselling to sort this out - which may be difficult for you to do and not least for him to accept - not least of all as you both have clearly experienced much in your lives and are perhaps unwilling to make the changes needed to accommodate each others needs and demands.  Fair enough.  

However, with Mars in the Composite 12th, you both need to lay it all out "on the table".  So instead of getting into endless arguments that go nowhere and solve nothing, ask each other what is it exactly that you both want and need from each other ?  And this needs to be clarified as each fight erupts, otherwise nothing will be resolved.

With his Libra Rising he may always be weighing things up and find it hard to state the actual problem, and then his Moon in Gemini will just change the subject.   Naturally too, you Mars/Neptune in the 12th in conjunction with your Ascendant square your Pisces Sun can easily lose the point or the thread of the conversation when attacked.  

All of these issues need hard work to resolve.  But there are so many good connections between you too, and which give the relationship the strength to hold together.

I suggest that - as I said before - you both need to find time to do your own thing apart from each other, and also find a subject or common interest in which you can spend time together discovering more about the world outside of your relationship.  Naturally too, when you are together, do some 'romancing'...nice dinners together, trips to places you enjoy (covid nothwithstanding)...you know. just things that enliven you and remind you of why you came together in the first place.  Yes, I know that all sounds very obvious and rather cliche'd,  but I know too how easy it is to forget how to do this).

I hope this helps in some way and if you have any questions about it, please do ask and I'll do my best to assist.

Best,
Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
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