Problem with friendships so far.

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Sijju
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Problem with friendships so far.

Post by Sijju »

There a chronic problem to analyze over here,i cannot approach/create friends/friendships,this keeps happening since school years,around 17-18 yo and still nobody will come to say me,hey,let's be friends,let's go out together to have some fun.I know that i'm shy,not expressive person,keep hiding my emotions from others most times,i'm insecure and fearful to make first move to approach someone and talk him/her,rejection always in my mind.I will not open easily,cause i'm not trusting easy people,social skills are in a low level,i don't have the experience how to talk or what to say most times.Self blaming,self criticizing after failures. :!:

I cannot understand why and how many years still,my natal chart will blocking this specific area,of friendships and relationships,i'm dissapointed and stuck. :!:


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This is a natal with combined transits.Thanx in advanced if anyone read this.
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Noel Eastwood
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Re: Problem with friendships so far.

Post by Noel Eastwood »

Hi Sijju, I can see that you are guarded around people but the entire chart also says that you are an inspired, interesting and active person. I think this is just one of those things that gets you down but is not the focus of your issues. You are a hard worker, you like to play sports and gaming is something you like, you even socialise and get along well with people. So much of your chart says that you are not a flower hiding under a rock but rather that this is a hole that you step into when things upset you.

So having said that I would like you to do some work on yourself to improve your confidence and self-esteem. Do you meditate, exercise and eat a good healthy diet free of junk food? What are your interests, you haven't said anything about them, your work and education level, these will help us determine the best direction for you to take to get out of that hole you stepped into.
Sijju
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Re: Problem with friendships so far.

Post by Sijju »

Noel Eastwood wrote: Sun Dec 06, 2020 2:04 pm
So having said that I would like you to do some work on yourself to improve your confidence and self-esteem. Do you meditate, exercise and eat a good healthy diet free of junk food? What are your interests, you haven't said anything about them, your work and education level, these will help us determine the best direction for you to take to get out of that hole you stepped into.
Well,i don't meditate,never had even once,now in lockdown days i started some nutrition as i was overweight somehow,i keep trying,my interests could be lessons for electric guitar,my work is security guard into a mall with many shops around,pretty boring,noisy,crowed workplace for me,bad company,not good salary,need to escape from there sooner.Education level is basic,so my cv looks a bit weak for better job opportunities.

I just can't make friends so far,people think i'm weird or i don't know how they see me,fears and insecurities,shyness,lack of communication skills and many more lacking in some areas making complicated to create friendships,or relationships with girls. :oops: :?

It's just a chronic situation from early years of my life,since school years.
Sijju
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Re: Problem with friendships so far.

Post by Sijju »

But i really struggle and have problem to approach friendships and make relationships,when others don't even try much and have easily friends or a girldfriend. :roll: :?
Sijju
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Re: Problem with friendships so far.

Post by Sijju »

Sijju wrote: Wed Dec 09, 2020 1:28 am But i really struggle and have problem to approach friendships and make relationships,when others don't even try much and have easily friends or a girldfriend. :roll: :?
I know you are a psychotherapist too,so you may understand a little better my point,it has to do with lack of experience and fears/insecurities.
Sijju
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Re: Problem with friendships so far.

Post by Sijju »

In new job,i'm trying to get some friendships but it's still difficult for me,when i will see some improvement in this area? :roll:
Sijju
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Re: Problem with friendships so far.

Post by Sijju »

I have the tend to isolate and be lonely again,no real friends for me yet
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Never_give_up
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Re: Problem with friendships so far.

Post by Never_give_up »

Sijju wrote: Sun Dec 06, 2020 1:34 am There a chronic problem to analyze over here,i cannot approach/create friends/friendships,this keeps happening since school years,around 17-18 yo and still nobody will come to say me,hey,let's be friends,let's go out together to have some fun.I know that i'm shy,not expressive person,keep hiding my emotions from others most times,i'm insecure and fearful to make first move to approach someone and talk him/her,rejection always in my mind.I will not open easily,cause i'm not trusting easy people,social skills are in a low level,i don't have the experience how to talk or what to say most times.Self blaming,self criticizing after failures. :!:

I cannot understand why and how many years still,my natal chart will blocking this specific area,of friendships and relationships,i'm dissapointed and stuck. :!:
Hi Siju,

it is visible in your chart - that starting school this issue got visible and feelable for you.
Mars rules your 9th house - education, school, university - expanding knowledge.

And your mars as male active principle is in 5th house - inconjuncting your chiron in gemini (the talking sign) in 10th house. Your inner wound and scare is to disgrace yourself in public - fearing to be not intelligent enough - and to be speechless - not able to say a word - in special situations.

But your chiron is also your biggest (self-) healing potential - if you dare to face this weakness and work on it continously. Chiron is also opposed by your natal uranus in your 4th house. Uranus rules your 6th house - work - to work on own issues, habits and rituals one has taken over and to work on own self-healing (6th). As otherwise you would have to face the "apparently coming from the outside" repeatedly coming back to you again and again - as in truth - it is you and your own soul energy- challenging you for evolving yourself.

And that this is kinda a fated task you brought with you into this life - with mars squaring your aries northnode in 8th house conjuncting your moon in aries in 8th house.

For every virgo rising - mother is the most important person - leaving an intense impression and taking impact in later life, too.

4th house is ruled by jupiter in your chart. 4th house is your emotional identity and your basic trust - built up in younger years - you afterwards go out into the world with. And as a a child you will first see the world through your mother's eyes.

4th house is mother experience in childhood - mother as first female model role, the inner picture - a man is instinctively looking for in a partner in later life - especially if something has left to be healed or has been missed.

4th house is about how you react emotionally - how you feel yourself at home with yourself and with other people. How you look after your emotional needs to get them fullfilled and what you need to feel yourself well.

With jupiter ruling your 4th house in 7th house - encountering people in general - and jupiter squaring your uranus in your 4th house - you kind carry your own unprocessed emotions to encountering people area - people can notice from you over there and kinda mainly look for "a nourrishing mother" to help you in this area. Non-verbally demanding to get from others - what you have missed from mother in childhood.

And this is instinctively noticed by others - in 7th house -and most people don't want to heal another persons's past and what you have missed in your childhood. With neptune ruling your 7th house in your 4th house - you are mainly looking for a healer - if encountering people. With with neptune in 4th sextiling your pluto in intercepted scorpio in your 3rd house - it is also in your physical radiance - others can notice from you. And people react on immediately on what is going on under your surface - in your intercepted scorpio with pluto and venus in.

And with uranus square energy on your jupiter - this can get a sudden disturbing energy - like a sudden flash-input and cut off - people probably quickly turn around - not being interested in you or experience you as a difficult person - being different from others.

But you are an important part and input yourself - meeting people - you can't change the others - but you can change yourself and your input. And if so - the result and the attraction will change and will be a different one. But nothing will "come over you from heaven or from transits" - if you don't start yourself working on an improvement.

Your venus - communication - is now squared by transit saturn until beg. of next year to find a solution on your own and to get more disciplined and structured in your thoughts and to find a concept - to get out of this.

And your mercury as your ASC and 10th house- midheaven / lifepath / life direction ruler is still sextile supported by transit saturn for a new beginning and an improvement in your life now.

Wherever there is really a strong will - mars in 5th house - there is always a way out of own issues - as I know myself very well - I had same talking issues in my youth - too.
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Never_give_up
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Re: Problem with friendships so far.

Post by Never_give_up »

Saturn in 4th house - often shows a child feeling lonely in childhood and as having been left alone- saturn semisquares mars in 5th and zero degree exact sesquiquadrates your aries moon in 8th house.

And that you had to early take reponsibility on your own and often felt overwhelmed by it. With a feeling -to better not disturb own mother with own needs and emotions - to protect yourself - saturn sextiling mercury in 2nd house.

Or alternatively -saturn as ruler of 5th in 4th can show that own mother had to take the father role too - to protect your physical existence - and wasn't always available for you as a mother.

Moon in aries - often shows an unplanned child.

Moon in 8th house - has moon/pluto corresponding energy in 8th and is always connected with a deep subconscious fear to get existentially completely destroyed.
Sijju
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Re: Problem with friendships so far.

Post by Sijju »

I'm sensitive to criticism of others,i dislike other people to gossip me or mock me often,it bothers me a lot and tend to isolate,hide my feelings and not talk much,people think i'm weird. :? I retired from my last job for this reason,i couldn't defence my self against that kind of people trying to destroy my emotions and hurt me.

Doctor diagnosed me with avoidant personality disorder,depression hit me and i'm taking meds 6 months.Supervisor understimate me often and i thought i was weak,couldn't express what i believe due to fear of misunderstood from others.

Now,the fact is how long will take me to get out of that mess and erase shyness and social anxiety.
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