How can I improve my relationships with others?

[Ketevan]

Female, 31 August 1998, 05:17AM, Tbilisi, Georgia.

Hello, it’s been many years, or I would say all my life, that I’ve been worrying about my relationships with others. Starting from preschool to school, university, workplaces, online and anywhere people have contact with others. My relationships are going wrong with friends, relatives, potential “partners” and last years with my family members too.
In general, it’s not hard for me to maintain normal relationships with others, but it doesn’t last with anyone, and I mean any kind of relationships. There are always some misunderstandings or something like this – not big problems, but it still seems to be enough to end a relationship.
In the last years I had a very bad relationship with my brother, who was my favourite person and best friend for my whole life. Our situation changed very quickly, like in one day, and till today it’s going to become worse. Meanwhile, I have no idea what his problem with me is. I have tried to talk to him and talk to my parents about it, but it seems like there’s no real reason, or I have no idea what’s going on. Same with my father; it’s been more than five years that I have very problematic relationship with him.
In the last year I have changed three jobs, and I wasn’t able to find my place anywhere; communication in there with others was also disturbing. I’m so worried about my private life too because it seems like I’m not going to meet anyone with whom I will be able to have a stable and normal relationship. I have no idea how to handle this to have nobody around or what to do in general.
In every two years I’m trying to ask on the different forums to get answers about what’s going on in my life, and every time I’m describing the same situations, like nothing ever changes but just going to become worse. In my everyday life I have contact with my mother only, almost not going out after leaving my last job, and I am not meeting or talking to literally anyone.
I know it may sound weird to try to get those answers depending on the birth chart, but as I believe that it has much to do with our lives and saves a lot of information, I’m going to try again. I know I had to be more specific, but I still will be waiting for any response, advice, etc. By the way, sorry for the bad English; I hope it’s still understandable.

[Ketevan]

Birth chart

[Noel Eastwood]

You are a fantastic person, one why has lots of energy and lots of positive behaviours. Your friendships are strong but you are sometimes afraid that you are too over the top, too highly strung for most people to handle. But, you are honest and loyal to a fault. These qualities help you to stay in the loop and there are other positives in the chart, but I will go straight to why you are so bothered by your sibling, parent and friendship problems.

You are also a little hyperactive and so can say and do things that others find strange or are offended. You don't mean to be like that but it just pops out and then you regret it. So that's the first thing, over active, over enthusiastic and over the top, but then you feel like you let everybody down and punish yourself for it. It becomes a vicious cycle that just doesn't improve.

What can you do? You can slow your racing mind down, think before your speak and hold off when you get excited. I'm pretty hyperactive and do and say things before thinking, but over the years I have taught myself to stop and think first, and it really helps. You can try that as well.

You have squares to your Sun from Moon and Pluto and that can complicate things, like not thinking the best thoughts about yourself. You put yourself down a lot and second guess yourself. Every time you do or say something you then go and analyse it and then you punish yourself for it. It is damaging and something you can, slowly, stop doing. You are young so you will get over this, thank goodness, but it takes practice and time.

You have Uranus and Neptune opposite your Mars and Mercury and that is complicated by adding extra stress energy to your system. These oppositions are causing a lot of the stress, and that stress is one of your main problems. Slow your thoughts down a bit, think first, and then answer, it will get you out of trouble. And, if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything, even if you want to. It will feel different, feel a bit lonely, a bit like feeling you aren't honest, but it will help so much. These simple rules have helped me, they will help you.

Your stabilising planet, Saturn, is square to Mars and Uranus/Neptune but it does have a nice trine to your Sun. It tries to stabilise your Mars and Uranus/Neptune opposition by ignoring its role of acting in your career - it naturally acts as a career stabiliser. By focusing more on your career you will help the rest. Again, this is slow and time consuming but really helpful. I hope this has helped some.

[Ketevan]

Hello, Noel! I'm thankful for your attention and support. I'm excited about your reading and advice.

That's exactly what's my problem: suddenly I say or do something that everyone takes wrong. I am impulsive and sometimes aggressive, and it's hard to control my anger more than other emotions. For example, it's always harder for me to express my happiness or appreciation towards others than to be disappointed or angry over them. I'm working on it; because of this I become distant in relationships, talking less and just listening, trying my best to be nice. But while being like this, sometimes I listen to someone who's talking to me, and I don't like what he/she did or said and think, What if I said the same to them?' Because of my old experiences, I assume that he/she would misunderstand it and think that I'm weird, strange, or not nice. Then I will collect all this resentment in myself and later will tell them something terrible or express that I'm disappointed in them in a very bad way.

I'm trying to explain that instead of being impulsive as I was before, now I just collect all these negative emotions and say them at once, but it also happens spontaneously, and it's even worse. I see that it's my problem how I express myself or perceive others. I said it's not hard for me to communicate, but I know that I'm really bad at it. I started to act like someone else towards others to hide my weirdness, but no way – there's always that one moment I show my real self, and it's worse. Like, yes, it was better for them to know my characteristics from the beginning.

Anyways, I agree I have to think more before I act or talk, but it's funny that the more I think more terrible things I say and do. I will try to work more on myself for sure, but I can't tell where it's taking me.

[Noel Eastwood]

Ketevan, trust yourself, that's what it takes, trust. You are young and that is to your advantage, so take it slowly, don't expect much too soon, trust that you will slowly get better. Even though you may seem false to others, they aren't your judges, you are, and they don't mater. Above all be nice to yourself, accept that you will make mistakes, so make some, in time you will come good.