Once again, I am at a juncture where I am lost. Or never really found my way. I'll try to keep the description of my issue short and simple.
My current state of mind: Not motivated at all. somewhat annoyed , somewhat frustrated. Feel dull, not alive, Not happy, not sad, somewhere in between, losing dreams, giving up on aspirations. living each day as it comes.
My Situation: finishing up masters, unsatisfactorily, but finishing it up. Looking for jobs that I am not really interested to do ( just want to start making money because you cant live without it. I have been to many interviews , didnt work out. ( I really put an effort to get the interviews , and prepared to appear for them, it looked like ill get the job, but at the end , I did not.) Now, Not even motivated to apply for new work, But still applying for it. ( Not giving up attitude is still kinda alive, but the fire is dying everyday.) under tremendous pressure, from family and life.
Not into any kind of addictive substances, though consume them once in a while, occasionally. Into entheogens, but only for the reason of finding myself.( dont do them often as well)
Wish to be free, yet make money, this makes me inclined towards making my own business, but dont know what how and where, kinda skeptical, kinda scared. Full of self-doubt.
I know how i'd want to live my life, but i dont know what to do with it.
Can some one please tell me whats going on in my charts right now? I am trying hard, I am not depressed but still not very enthusiastic as well. Can you tell me when will my time will come?
My details:
Time of birth : 13/08/1993 04:10 AM
Place of birth: Gwalior, MadhyaPradesh, Gwalior
Place of current resident : Barcelona, Spain.