When will I shine?

[AstroA13]

Hey, I posted on this forum a long while ago and was lucky enough to receive replies and guidance.

Once again, I am at a juncture where I am lost. Or never really found my way. I'll try to keep the description of my issue short and simple.

My current state of mind: Not motivated at all. somewhat annoyed , somewhat frustrated. Feel dull, not alive, Not happy, not sad, somewhere in between, losing dreams, giving up on aspirations. living each day as it comes.

My Situation: finishing up masters, unsatisfactorily, but finishing it up. Looking for jobs that I am not really interested to do ( just want to start making money because you cant live without it. I have been to many interviews , didnt work out. ( I really put an effort to get the interviews , and prepared to appear for them, it looked like ill get the job, but at the end , I did not.) Now, Not even motivated to apply for new work, But still applying for it. ( Not giving up attitude is still kinda alive, but the fire is dying everyday.) under tremendous pressure, from family and life.

Not into any kind of addictive substances, though consume them once in a while, occasionally. Into entheogens, but only for the reason of finding myself.( dont do them often as well)

Wish to be free, yet make money, this makes me inclined towards making my own business, but dont know what how and where, kinda skeptical, kinda scared. Full of self-doubt.

I know how i'd want to live my life, but i dont know what to do with it.

Can some one please tell me whats going on in my charts right now? I am trying hard, I am not depressed but still not very enthusiastic as well. Can you tell me when will my time will come?

My details:

Time of birth : 13/08/1993 04:10 AM
Place of birth: Gwalior, MadhyaPradesh, Gwalior
Place of current resident : Barcelona, Spain.

[admin]

Hi again AstroA13,

I think I may have mentioned last year that you’d be going through this period of disillusion, confusion and doubt for a while to come ? But even though it feels like nothing has changed – mainly because the changes going on are more of an internal nature – in fact you have changed more than you may think, and will continue to do so.

Naturally none of those jobs you’ve gone for interviews for did not work out as your heart really wasn’t in it.

Hang in there just a bit longer as your energies will start to shift in a more positive direction during these next few months. Aug./Sept. should find your enthusiasm on the increase, and then - particularly during October/Nov./Dec. – a new work situation is very possible.

However, try not to waste the time just sitting and waiting for a change to arrive. This is a period of time when you need to be aware of what’s going on around you, and of your reactions to external matters, as these will mirror what’s going on internally and which you need to try to understand. So instead of fighting it or sitting back fearful and depressed, try to let go of what your ego wants, and see what the situation is trying to teach you. Yes, I know it’s easy to say those words and so very hard to live by them. But the more you can do this, the easier it will be and the more ready you will be when those changes and opportunities arrive.

Hope that helps.

Best,
Admin.

[AstroA13]

Hey admin.


Yes I remember the conversation we had last time and I am really greatfull that you helped me then and replied now as well. Thank you.

Yes, you are absolutely correct with the fact that there has been tremendous changes within me in the last couple of months. My understanding of myself is more clear now than ever, but I still am struggling to find a meaning. Moreover, in the materialistic world, in order to survive, I am finding it difficult to use the surroundings to make an earning.

Thank you for a bit of a timeline to look forward to. It really helps me keeping myself together and hanging in there longer.

I will keep in mind what you said about my ego, for I know that many times my ego jumps in the middle and confuses me for many things. To suppress it is not impossible, but does require an effort.

Once again, thank you for replying. It really means a lot to me .

Take care!