What Am I Meant To Do?

[ScorpioDom]

I can’t figure myself out. I know that’s part of it... just gotta try things. But I’ve been working in advertising for a while as an editor and now a producer and i can’t help but feel like I’m meant to do something completely different.

Is there anything from my chart that might signal some kind of skill or interest that i have maybe not explored yet or is this just my time to create a stable foundation for exploration?

Sorry if this is all so YAWN boring... I’m still young and i have time. But i feel like i give up so easily on anything once i realize I’m not absolutely perfect at it at first try.
I want reinforcement that i should keep trying. Keep going ... and i might enjoy ____


September 23, 1994
10:45 am
Queens, NY

[admin]

Hi ScorpioDom,

Not even VAGUELY ‘YAWN boring...’ ! (And who with such an emphasis on Scorpio wouldn’t have periods of dissatisfaction with themselves or their lives ?) With your Sun on the cusp of Virgo/Libra in the 11th ruling the 10th/Midheaven/career, and with Scorpio/Pluto Rising you’re in ‘the right’ position (editor/producer)...at least initially and ‘on the surface’.

However, all those planets in the 12th, plus NNode conj. Asc. in Scorp plus Pluto Rising (in square to your MC/IC) suggests to me that you strongly need periods of ‘alone time’, and also something that can satisfy more a need to be involved in work that goes deeper; to study the ‘meaning of life’, such as psychology (or even astrology or related subjects).

Currently Pluto is transiting your Neptune/Uranus on your 3rd House cusp, and there’s no doubt that this is not an easy time at all as you’re questioning so much in your life. This also suggests that study and writing - even if only writing for yourself initially...i.e. writing down your thoughts and feelings in a journal. This alone can be incredibly healing and helpful.

I see in your Progressed chart that your Midheaven has just passed Chiron in Virgo there, and no doubt this has contributed to your dissatisfaction in your current career. As you have Chiron in Virgo in the 10th natally, this suggests the possibility of working in some area associated with health, perhaps – again – psychology or similar. (Something that has to do with healing seems to keep coming up here, though it must be said that this could be about ‘self-healing’).

This tallies with your Solar Return in which you have Virgo Rising and Sun conjunct Mercury and Ceres in the 1st House.

I don’t wish to over-emphasise ‘healing’ though – even though it seems that I have done so – as that’s only one part of this possibility. So, what other areas are you interested in ?

Re the perfectionism, that’s obviously something you have to work on as naturally, and no doubt as you know, it can ultimately be self-defeating. The question is ‘what or who are you striving to live up to ?’ I see that Saturn in Pisces in your 4th House and this can indicate a difficult childhood; perhaps so much was expected of you that you had to keep trying to live up to very high standards in order to get recognition.

Pisces of itself can have impossible ideals, which Saturn tries endlessly to live up to and takes on all sorts of responsibilities in order to prove itself worthy. This is all something you need to dig into in order to understand the source of this perfectionism in order to allow yourself to attain reachable goals and most of all, to be satisfied with the best that you can do rather than never feeling that it’s good enough. Easy words to say of course, but not so easy to accomplish.

This current Pluto conjunct your Neptune(/Uranus) brings with it powerful transformations, and in fact it can be life-changing. Naturally, the process isn’t ‘easy’, though the outcome can be amazingly rewarding. Given where it is in your chart, it’s gradually changing your whole way of communicating, of learning and studies, or simply of your thought patterns.

Hope this helps.

Best,
Admin.