Seeking guidance

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Noel Eastwood
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Re: Seeking guidance

Post by Noel Eastwood »

Vras, both of you have some traits of narcissism, neither of you are dominant though. This is why I mention that you both need to learn how to communicate with each other because you both try to control the conversation.

It is a matter of setting up rules:
1. you both take turns to speak
2. If your partner is speaking you stay quiet and don't interrupt
3. Listen attentatively
4. Ask questions to clarify certain points your partner makes - at the end of their turn to speak, not during
5. Develop strategies to resolve any issues that arise - singularly, then come back together, at a designated time and day, to discuss these strategies
6. Negotiation and compromise are BIG in relationships
7. Keep a note on your fridge that spells out the rules of your conversations:- wait your turn, don't interrupt, listen, take notes, develop strategies to have your partners and your own needs met, discuss them and negotiate them together and even while apart, come together at set times to communicate like this, with rules and always apply those simple rules of 'be polite'.

Yes, get some counselling, but you must both be prepared to listen to your partners thoughts on the counsellor, if one of you doesn't like the counsellor, then you both agree to find another one.

Some words that reflect a good relationship: respect, honour, loyalty and trust - without them there is no relationship.

Get back to me Vras when you get started.
Vrasairam
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Re: Seeking guidance

Post by Vrasairam »

Hi Noel,
Thanks for your suggestions. We both are working towards it. An unfortunate event happened on Tuesday on my wife’s birthday. She met with a car accident while coming to pick me for dinner. My son and her parents were with her. Luckily, all are safe. Though her car is totally demolished. We all were excited for going out and having good time but I have noticed she has been facing problems continuously from many years. She has high regards for your suggestions and asked me to seek your guidance that when this bad phase will end for her. Please throw a light on her birth chart.

Kind Regards,
Vrasairam
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Noel Eastwood
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Re: Seeking guidance

Post by Noel Eastwood »

Vras, I know this sounds strange but right now is a the best time for her. She is faced with an opportunity to improve her life, the life of her family and partner. The car accident seems like bad luck but in reality it is a wake up call to you both. This event with the car, as horrible as it was, is not going to derail your journey forward, not at all, it will lead you out of it. These traumas bring people together and that is what you both need to do now, get closer to work through the trauma - together.

Astrologically Jupiter, which is hugely powerful for you both, is making things happen. Jupiter is a benefactor planet, a bringer of opportunity and good luck. But sometimes we have to earn that good luck by putting in effort ourselves. This is exactly what you are doing, putting in an effort to work through your issues.

Even though things have been tough now is your wife's time to drop the barriers and allow you back in. To heal, to heal herself and your marriage. Every crisis provides an opportunity for growth, and this is it. Keep smiling at each other, practice your communication, negotiation and compromise. Use the rules I suggested, take turns, show respect and honour your partner. All of these simple tips work and you both need to practice, consciously, taking time out to discuss how it is working, maybe over tea or a walk together - every day. I don't want you or your wife to think that the other is at fault, you both have faults, we all do, and we all need to pitch in and heal, together.
Vrasairam
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Re: Seeking guidance

Post by Vrasairam »

Hi Noel,

I got a very decent job offer and started living separately again from my family despite my wife’s efforts convincing me to stay with her. Also, I bought a new house here and thought this will give me happiness but feel empty again inside. I neglected my wife and son and left them by themselves even during the time of their car accident.But,I could not resist the temptation of a new job with decent perks . Now, I miss them again but have closed the communication doors myself. Is there any possibility to revive this relationship?
My DOBagain:3/11/1976
Time: 13:57, place:Mumbai(India)
My wife DOB:23/10/1979
Time:14:23,Place:New Delhi(India)
Should I attach birth charts again?
Please take me out of this utter confusion.

Thanks so much

Thanks,
Vrasai
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Noel Eastwood
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Re: Seeking guidance

Post by Noel Eastwood »

Vras, your destiny is always in your hands, I can only advise you, as does the universe. You have asked the universe for advice and support, you got it. Unfortunately you, like every one of us, sometimes fail to listen and apply what has been provided.

Vras, you know what to do. As you well know astrology can't help you, it isn't magic, you have the steering wheel of your destiny not the astrologer.

Make a plan, set small achievable goals and start moving towards them. That is what your astrology chart says, that's what i say and I'd imagine everyone you ask will say the same thing.

And so, what are you going to do?
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