Kindly help predict feeling angst and despair

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Han 420
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Kindly help predict feeling angst and despair

Post by Han 420 »

Good day! I would really appreciate some insight with my natal chart. I know very little, I’ve read a little bit about Saturn return as I think mine is nye. It’s like my mind body spirit came to a halting stop in December last year and I’ve felt incredibly lost but also having trouble identifying the same as I used to. I really appreciate your time. Thanks heaps.

Female
Calgary AB
May 6 1991
09:07
admin
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Re: Kindly help predict feeling angst and despair

Post by admin »

Hi Han 420,

Just checking: is that 9:07 am or pm ?

Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
Han 420
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Re: Kindly help predict feeling angst and despair

Post by Han 420 »

9:07 am :)
admin
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Re: Kindly help predict feeling angst and despair

Post by admin »

Dear Han,

Your Saturn Return won’t really begin until 2020. However, you have certainly been feeling Saturn’s heavy hand since he crossed into your 7th House (opposite your Ascendant) at the beginning of this year, and in fact it seems you began to experience this on his entry into Capricorn in December last year.

However, this alone has not been the full reason for your current angst, and I think that transiting Pluto is more relevant to this as he has been hovering over your North Node opposite your Chiron and square to your Mercury.

This is a lot to cope with, but its main ‘purpose’ is transformation...not least of all of your thinking and mind-set. Others may have been seeming to block you or trying to change your way of thinking; or else it may be that you have been resisting any changes and stubbornly sticking to your own ideas. This may have been happening in relationships, and with friends or social groups, not least of all ‘online’ (such as FB ?).

What this has been and is challenging you to do is to figure out when to be flexible and when to stand your ground. I suspect that you may be too easily hurt and quick to defend yourself when challenged, perhaps even when you know you’re wrong ? And it is really hard for you to admit that you may be in the wrong as pride takes over. So, perhaps you can see why this has been such a difficult time for you as this is what this Pluto transit is forcing you to realise, and truly I can see why and how this is all so painful for you.

You’ve had to defend yourself so much in the past ...perhaps one of your parents may have discouraged you from thinking for yourself and constantly put you down for thinking or expressing your own ideas and thoughts ? Whatever the reason, it’s a deep pain for you and now you are battling against all or any who challenge you, and not least of all yourself.

You are changing in every respect – in fact it’s almost like going through the process of being re-born.

I think - if it’s possible - that it would be a very good idea to consult a psychologist to help you discover what this battle is all about and to help get you through this very difficult time.

Please do keep me posted as I’d very much like to know how you fare.

Best to You,
Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
Sujit
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Re: Kindly help predict feeling angst and despair

Post by Sujit »

Hello Han420,
Based on sidereal chart. You are in the sub period of Moon in the 8th could bring changes to you job, status and concern related to marriage and spouse. There is short term stress to your income, initiative, ventures, finances, spouse which is likely to improve after couple of months.
Last quarter is good for progeny, gains from investments, education, buying comforts & luxuries, going picnics.
You have a good Sun placed in 11th house of gains is likely to bring different sources of income.
The planet Mercury is debilitated is not favorable for mental peace, home, marital happiness. You can wear Emerald.
- Sujit
Online Vedic Astrologer " I know a thing or two about how planets give results."
Do you need some more advice, guidance?
You can find me on Facebook.
https://www.facebook.com/astrologer.sujit
Han 420
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Re: Kindly help predict feeling angst and despair

Post by Han 420 »

Thanks for your detailed reply. I failed to mention a pretty transformative lsd experience in December which kind of instigated these feelings that I was on the wrong path. It was actually a pretty traumatic insight that i wasn’t ready for. I can almost say I’m thankful it happened. I thought it could have been more than just that experience though. This has been a massive year of transformation for me in every single aspect of my life. I believe I got catapulted straight into my unconscious and everything I knew was on trial much like the hero’s journey. I am feeling the storm breaking. I’ve never looked at myself in such an honest light, but soul searching takes deep, painful time. You mentioned defending myself in the past and I feel I’ve had to. After my lsd experience I think I kept defending my old self even though I was going through metamorphosis. I’ve never fully felt accepted from my dad so I do tend to over prove. I also feel I’ve been trying to be someone I’m not for a long long time and it just wasn’t sustainable. I thought I could just mute or suppress all the aspects of my personality I didn’t like but it just doesn’t work like that. It really does feel like a re birth and the more I welcome it the less resistance I feel. I feel like I’m finally letting go and it feels incredibly freeing and refreshing. My anxiety came as a teacher not a burden and I see that now. I do agree about seeing a psychologist, and I feel good I can understand what’s going on a little better and explain myself in greater depth. It was hard to explain before. Anyway, huge rant. I really appreciate your time and insights.
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Re: Kindly help predict feeling angst and despair

Post by admin »

Dear Han,

Last thing you needed with Neptune (artificial inducement/lsd) influencing you so strongly was to open it all up so drastically, but at least, thank goodness, you survived it. (Just a warning...as Neptune will be coming back to aspect that same point in Oct. through to Jan., I strongly suggest you don’t try to take it further via that medium as you may not experience such an ‘easy’ recovery. Oh, and looking further, I’d add several months beyond that when you may be tempted again to get more ‘enlightenment’ by those means. Please do be very very careful).

And yes, you’re right – it was surely ‘more than just that experience’. And although no doubt it would have been a slower and yes, a longer drawn-out painful process, it would have prepared you better for the outcome. Corny and trite though it is, it really is ‘the journey’ that’s more important than the goal, otherwise you can miss important details that help so much to understand, when you finally ‘arrive’, what it’s all about and what your future path should be.

There is more to go Han as you come to your Saturn Return, but clearly your tremendous capacity for self-knowledge will surely give you the foundation and knowledge to weather it well, and to gain the best that you possibly can from it. I just looked at the ‘degree symbol’ for your Saturn and I think you’ll like this: “Out of the cosmic egg, life is born fresh and virginal”. This is innate and the fundamental core of your being. The one warning about this – and which is very relevant to your whole chart – is that you can push too hard and too fast to get to this core; to ‘know’ before you’re ready. And inevitably this results in endless soul-searching. But again, yes that attitude of welcoming it and letting go, rather than fighting it, surely reduces the pain.

From your words, I imagine you’ve read Joseph Campbell ? I’m wondering if perhaps you might like to read Noel Eastwood’s “The Fool’s Journey through the Tarot Major Arcana”, and his sequels of “The Fool’s Journey through the Tarot ...” where he travels through each ‘element’ of the Tarot/Zodiac. (You’ll find them on Amazon). Whether you’re interested in Tarot or not, these would I think be of interest to you. He is a valued astrologer here and has had many years practice in psychology, and also has many other books available – such as “Self Hypnosis Tame Your Inner Dragons...” which I’m sure you’ll find really interesting and helpful. (And no, that’s not a ‘plug’ – I really do feel you might gain much from any of his works).

I just looked at your Progressed chart and see that at this time, the Moon and Saturn are in exactly the same degrees as they were at your birth ! That’s actually the first time I’ve seen that happen so precisely ! (That was rather mind-boggling I have to say). The difference is now that they are more ‘up front’ in the area of one-to-one relationships rather than in the natal ‘darker’ more intense 8th House – so now you are seeing that issue mirrored back to you by others in a more open way.

In your Solar Return for this year, Scorpio is Rising and 4 planets are in the 2nd House of Self-Worth. This is surely a time when you will need to work on your values and self-worth, just as you are clearly confronting and doing.

You know, when I looked at your chart after your initial query, I have to admit I was very worried on your behalf, but after your reply and on looking further, I’m feeling very confident that you will not only weather whatever storms may come, but will come out the other end, victorious. And I’m not just saying that to be encouraging. I really believe it.

I appreciate very much that you cared to reply, and I do hope you will continue to update me as things unfold for you.

Best to You,
Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
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