Stay or go?

[Flower]

Hello everyone,

I would greatly appreciate help with reading my chart regarding education (higher education), career and future with jobs. Im curious are there indications of failure at higher edu? What does chart indicate i'm good at and my shortcomings? What about mind?
I ask in hope to in some way clear what i'm in now... Trying to decide whether to stick to studies at university (philosophy and sociology) or to quit - there are several reasons for quiting and staying... Even if i stay, dont think i'm good enough to accomplish something in those areas or science at all, parents dont support me, they wish i quit and did something else, perhaps manual that has nothing to do with science, theory of any kind, more easily employable. Then again, i love it but my self-doubt in intellect destroys me entirely.
And i'm curious if it has anything to do with current transits?

It means a world!

With great appreciation,
F.

[AsianSapphire]

hello F,
It would be useful to know your gender
the problem is always in natal chart.
It’s your Moon Uranus opposition gives you that ‘headache” and self doubt.
At the same time your comfort zone to teach, present, feel yourself professional at something, posses a degree, even became famous.
You intellectual abilities is higher than average.
Take a closer look at medical professions, psychology and
psychiatry.

Good Luck to You!

[Flower]

AsianSapphire, first of all thank you greatly for your time and reply.

I'm female.

If i get over my doubts, things eating at me and stay with my studies later i would have requirements to become a teacher (i have great respect for teaching and consider education, knowledge and growth fundaments neccessary for any complete person and at the large - society). Would love to do it. A even envision that is what i would be like if I ever become a teacher. In my country (and on global level) i find education system quite terrible as they do not encourage enough ideas, mind, reflection of thing we encounter in life, things we are told and thing we are not told... To give young people chance to see opportunities, to realize that 'ideas can change the world', and that nobodys needs to be a puppet, that kindness is trully the only way.

At the same time your comfort zone to teach, present, feel yourself professional at something, posses a degree, even became famous.

My country pains me deeply and things need to change. I feel as if, if I don't do something, nobody will. I honestly don't care about anything but things getting better in any way. It can be done with rounded education only. I want to do things and do them right for the better of our society and every human. No matter how small or big.
But my self-doubt - i can't even begin to describe how awfully deep and unbearable it is. One word is enough to shred me entirely. I'm hard on myself and don't think am good enough (comes from childhood ever since i'm aware of myself and parents). Which is not good when you have limited finances and can not spend time floating around instead of excelling at studies.

Not to mention, all i just said is in no way realistic enough and it's hard for employment even if i finish.

And again... I just can't let go. I wanted it (despite my parents' wills) and there it is... Still want it, just can't win a fight over myself.

[Noel Eastwood]

Flower, I just want to add that your self-doubt is loaded with some anger, perhaps directed at yourself. This appears to be from your childhood, you learned it perhaps from your parents or siblings, maybe they put you down in some way.

If that's the case the sooner you learned to manage your own life as an individual the better.

You are very sensitive and that's another thing, the path I would suggest for you is to learn to relax, to go within and meditate on healing your childhood. As Asiansapphire suggested, look at studying anything to do with psychology, I would say that is one of your strengths.

You are stronger than you think, find that strength and work it through and into your life.

[Flower]

Noel Eastwood, thank you kindly for your reply, also.

About anger - you're spot on. Yes.
Excuse me, could you say in what aspects you see that? It is perhaps that pluto square sun-mars conjuction?

And what about chiron? And his rahu conjunction in 12th? I'm interested to hear about that aspect.

I always try "healing my childhood", it's just that for last two, three years everything has been quite a mess. But i try.
Psychology - well... I'm acquainted with it and understand it naturally but I dont' think i would excatly want to make a profession.
Honestly - I don't think there's better, so to say psychology, then pshilo. and socio.

Thank you for those words.

[Noel Eastwood]

Flower, yes Sun conjunct Mars both square Pluto, well done - throw in Scorpio Ascendant ruled by Pluto.

You will do well with anything you study, put your mind to it and just do it - you will succeed by your amount of effort. Your mind is good, there is nothing stopping you but yourself.

Chiron, conjunct your 12th House cusp, conjunct your North Node, not a bad place to put Chiron, he's in the cave of the 12th, sleeping, resting, I guess your psyche thought you had enough on your plate without throwing in Chiron as well

He would be worth meditating on too since he is energising your 12th cusp, the house of the unconscious, the house of dreams and sometimes nightmares. I would say he has a few words of wisdom to give you.

[Flower]

Thanks once again!