Crossroad

[MarSi]

Could any of you help me out with an advice?

I'm feeling like standing on crossroad and can't figure out, which way is the best for me. I moved to another country 3 years ago, leaving my job behind. Now I basically have to start everything from the beginning. I was home with a baby at the beginning, but now it's time for me to figure out, what to do. I don't feel like doing the same job as before (Public Relations); I was not bad at it, but it gave me a superficial sort of satisfaction. I want to go deeper for something, I want to do things, what makes me more harmonious, I want to do things, what matters for me. And now I feel like it could be something what would help others. I'm interested in esoteric stuff, healing, work with energies. But...I feel like things are not going smoothly for me in this regard (trying to find teachers, but not succeeding etc.). One astrologer told me that year 2010 should be good for me in this regard - finding my very own thing to do, what brings happiness and joy...So far I have managed to finish Reiki 1, but still feel like I'm not going much forward. Now considering to go to study to Uni for another degree (another Master), but I feel like doing other things, like continuing with Reiki,maybe Qigong and other stuff. Why do I think about another Uni degree? To get it from the country I live now and have better job possibilities. But still I feel like I want to do other stuff, but it's not coming yet...

Sorry for the long introduction. Could anybody have a look at my chart?

Mara
1974
December 2
Kuldiga,Latvia
7:20 pm

[admin]

Hi MarSi, and thanks for posting your birth data.

"So far I have managed to finish Reiki 1, but still feel like I'm not going much forward. Now considering to go to study to Uni for another degree (another Master), but I feel like doing other things, like continuing with Reiki,maybe Qigong and other stuff. "

This latter kind of work should certainly appeal as you have Mars in Scorpio (digging deep), in trine to your Moon in Cancer (taking care of others). But, the current issue:

""I'm feeling like standing on crossroad and can't figure out, which way is the best for me..."

is probably more about Saturn coming up to a conjunction with your Pluto.

This is a difficult combination of energies to deal with (to say the least). Your Saturn is Retrograde in Cancer and in conjunction with your Asc. and with your Moon, so straight away, Saturn is a difficult energy for you to deal with. Here, Saturn makes you very sensitive and easily hurt - not least of all because you have been hurt - felt shut out - at various times of your life. This results in the creating of barriers, just to protect youself, which in turn, results in more experiences of feeling shut out.

What this can do is push you to be more independent, but also it can result in trying to impress others, and to do what you think is expected of you. So, in this sense, you push yourself to 'achieve' - which is perhaps what this current issue is about? "

Why do I think about another Uni degree?".

It also has to do with:

"So far I have managed to finish Reiki 1, but still feel like I'm not going much forward. Now considering to go to study to Uni for another degree (another Master), but I feel like doing other things, like continuing with Reiki,maybe Qigong and other stuff.

The fact that you 'feel like you're 'not going much forward' with this', is also relevant to this same matter. I'm supposing that this might be due to the fact that, even tho' you sense that you want to help others (SOOO relevant to your chart), you're either scared that it won't be approved of (by people who matter to you)...or else, it's because you want to impress those who DO matter to you?

Why either of those may have become an issue right now is, as mentioned: Transiting Saturn coming up to the conjunction with your Natal Pluto. Not an easy experience. This is pushing you to a very deep change, which part of you is fighting against - understandably. Things are happening beyond your control, and breaking the 'old' way of your being so that you feel confined and helpless. What's needed during these next few weeks is to try to understand what it is - not only inside of you personally - but also what it is you want so much to heal 'out there' in the World. You can see the tragedies of others, because you can relate to them. (You're probably going to be pushed through this rather fast, so ...hold on!).

Even while this is going on, Transiting Saturn starts to sextile your Neptune - which rules your Midheaven/Vocation - and which in itself says:

"...And now I feel like it could be something what would help others."

Your Midheaven point - your 'out there in the World' point, in that particular degree of Pisces, can feel like you're in some kind of weird place on this planet - and suggests that you are looking for something 'else'...something you vaguely understand but can't quite get a 'hold' on. It also suggests that you KNOW you are going to have to 'sacrifice' something in order to be able to understand and really 'know' what it is that you have to do in order to find 'your place' ...here.

I'm getting overloaded with all of this, but, as Saturn continues its course and sextiles your Neptune, Sun, North Node in Sagittarius in your 6th House (work/health matters), I feel you will pushed toward a good decision for your Self . All of your Sagittarian energies push you to know and understand ...more. You'll never stop needing to do this ! There will always be 'complications' for you with regard to working out exactly 'What', because you will always have questions...to which you will always attempt to find answers.

I understand that this is a really intense time for you, and that you are going to have to go through a lot of issues, so please feel free to post more if you would like to.

Hope something here helps in some way.

Best,
Admin.

MarSi chart.jpg (96.49 KiB) Viewed 1289 times

[MarSi]

Thanks, admin! You yourself like to go deep as I can see:)

I have been through difficult times for 3 years now (both my parents passed away one after another), but there has been a lot of joy and happiness too. So it's not just black or white. I understand that this kind of stuff will still go on for a while as you were warning me for more difficult times yet to come. Hopefully my Sun in the optimistic Sagittarius will help me out to go through that.