What is the reason for my bad luck in love?

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Gauri91
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What is the reason for my bad luck in love?

Post by Gauri91 »

Hi,
I've been dating this guy lately and it all seemed to be going well until a few days ago. I'll leave the details for now... it just seems I have bad luck in love as every guy I've been dating end up hurting me deeply, and I'm scared this one will end up hurting me too
Would anyone be interested in reading our birth charts and see if we could have a good relationship together? Will he be faithful?

And does it say anywhere in my chart if I have any bad luck or good luck in love? I really want to find a good guy to marry soon :(

Thanks in advance to anyone who wants to help me reading our charts.
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joe00uk
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Re: What is the reason for my bad luck in love?

Post by joe00uk »

Hi Gauri,

Would you mind posting both of your times and dates of birth, as well as the places you were both born?
I'll need to create my own charts on that website so I can view the synastry chart.

- Joe
Gauri91
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Re: What is the reason for my bad luck in love?

Post by Gauri91 »

Hi Joe,

Thanks for taking your time to reply to me:)

My birth time: 12. January 1991, 10:04 AM, Reykjavik, Iceland.

His birth time: 9. May 1987, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Don't know what time he's born unfortunately.

-Gauri
joe00uk
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Re: What is the reason for my bad luck in love?

Post by joe00uk »

So if you don't know his time of birth, I'm just going to ask you one more question. I'll need to figure out roughly where his Ascendant is so that the house system for his chart will be more or less correct.

What was your first impression of him when you met him? How did he come across to you at first?
Gauri91
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Re: What is the reason for my bad luck in love?

Post by Gauri91 »

My first impression of him was that he seemed like a serious, humourless guy who is all about good appearance and looking good. He dresses nicely and is good looking, all about football. When he approached me I was sceptic because I thought he is probably just another guy who just wants to play with me. I told myself not to have any expectations to him. I was also very cautious for our first date because I was scared that he would harm me if we met somewhere with less people. (He wanted to take a walk out in nature). Don't know why I had that feeling, but he has given me a better impression after getting to know him better. Hope this is helpful, and again thanks for taking your time to read our charts:)
joe00uk
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Re: What is the reason for my bad luck in love?

Post by joe00uk »

Okay, so with that information I've put his birth time at 7:00pm. Looking at the house placements for everything in his chart given what you've told me and how it relates to your chart, I think 7:00pm 'fits' the best - although, I could still very well be wrong.

When you said you first thought of him as "serious" and "humourless" I immediately thought of Saturn (the planet representing hard work and responsibilities among other things) and where it was in his chart. I've estimated Saturn to be in his 1st House because the 1st House is about the lens through which you see the world and it's about what other people can see first in you. That's why I asked about your first impression of him - the Ascendant is the point on your chart we call the cusp (the beginning) of the 1st House. Now, his Saturn is interesting because it's in a tight opposition to both his Mars and his Chiron (both of which I've estimated to be in his 7th House, which is the house of partnerships and one-to-one relationships, such as yours).

Having his Mars opposite Saturn might make him a bit of a perfectionist, and like you said when you first met him you thought he was all about having a good appearance and looking good. But this might not really be down to vanity, at its heart, and more just down to his own insecurities. Whatever has gone on in his life, perhaps he feels that he needs to be picky about his appearance or otherwise he might fear rejection by others – and perhaps by you, even if that isn’t true. People with Mars opposite Saturn can be their own harshest critic, and they often work tirelessly to match up to their standard of perfection – even when other people might feel it’s unnecessary. Having this Mars placement in the 7th House can perhaps mean that it’s those who are in relationships with him who will notice the problem the most, although he is likely very aware of it too, having Saturn in his 1st House.

Chiron is involved too. Chiron is an asteroid, but a lot of astrologers consider it to have meaning in people’s charts. It’s nicknamed the “wounded healer” and it signifies areas in your life where you might feel the greatest pain but where you can overcome that pain and help others (perhaps ‘healing’ them) with your knowledge and experience. You have Chiron in your 7th House, and if my estimation is correct for your partner, so does he. So possibly both of you fear this kind of deep, intense pain from relationships and perhaps both of you have that default expectation. Just as you said, you’ve been hurt deeply by your previous relationships and now you fear the same again for this one. I wouldn’t be surprised if your partner has the same worry and perhaps has even had the same experiences in love. But maybe this relationship will be different. If you ever want to heal from that pain, you’ll have to learn to trust again (easier said than done, I know!). Looking at both of your charts, I think it’s very possible that you could end up healing each other – but I’m sure you’re well aware that such healing is a long process and takes a lot of time (and effort).

Now I can move onto your Synastry chart. There are a lot of different things going on, but I’ll start with your Mercury which makes a square to his Moon. Mercury is the planet of the mind, the intellect and communication. The Moon represents your instincts and your inner feelings, your subconscious and your private world. In your Synastry chart, these two are in conflict, with you being the Mercury person and him being the Moon person. I don’t know how far along you are in your relationship, but there might come times when your partner will find you too critical and analytical of his feelings, his personal tastes and/or his habits. Perhaps an example of that might be your worry that he cares too much about his appearance? Unless you feel it’s softened now into less of a concern. Equally, you might feel that your partner is too sensitive to any criticism you give him, or any comments you make that might rub him the wrong way. It’s possible that you might get yourself into a lot of petty quarrels over (relatively) minor issues and disagreements. You might need to learn to communicate with him more sympathetically and he might need to learn not to take your criticism too personally. I could be wrong about this, of course, and my impression from what you’ve said is that you haven’t really known this man for very long, so these problems might not be noticeable yet – and just as much so, you might not notice things that work really well between the two of you until much later in your relationship. It’s best to just take what I’m saying as potential things to watch out for in the future – and I emphasise potential, because there’s no guarantee that I’m saying will turn out to be true because nothing is written in stone. Astrology is all about interpretations, and there can be many, many interpretations of even a single aspect in your chart.

Your Mercury is also conjunct his Uranus, meaning the energies of the two planets are blended. Uranus is the planet of unconventionality, rebellion, freedom and independence. It represents where you want to break free and be proudly individual in your life. You may find you both inspire each other to develop creative, original and perhaps unique ideas. Your partner might liven up and possibly even radically change your ideas and perspective on life. You might find that the two of you together can make decisions rather impulsively which can be fun and exciting for less important decisions, but for decisions that are more important and have more consequences, you might want to pause and consider things more carefully. You might find you develop a deep understanding of your partner’s originality and that you can really grow intellectually together. There might be a strong feeling that you’re both learning from each other.

Your Mars, however, makes a nice trine to your partner’s Moon. Mars is the planet of assertion and ambition. It represents your drive and determination to accomplish your goals. Mars trine Moon is a powerful indicator of attraction. You both might find you’re quite fascinated by each other. As you get to know each other better, you might find that your partner actually nurtures your ego and makes you feel as though you can succeed and you can push forward in life. He might be able to calm and relax you in a way that no one else can. Conversely, you can encourage your partner to be brave and confident where he needs that extra push (although with Mars opposite Saturn in his own natal chart, he might not be very willing to admit when he needs help!). You might find that you learn a lot about each other through your instincts and needs.

Your Venus squares his Pluto in your Synastry chart. Venus is the planet representing your personal charm, your tastes, your possessions, your social tendencies, and your nature within relationships. Pluto is a planet which represents mysterious things like the unconscious, taboos, sex, life and death, rebirth and regeneration, shared resources, manipulation, personal transformations, deep secrets and all those things in life which are hidden. Pluto represents that which reaches deep inside of you and the absolute deepest levels of your psyche – even those levels of which you might not even be aware. So those two planets are in conflict with each other between you. It’s yet another indicator of intense attraction but this aspect suggests a degree of discomfort in that at times. You did say he’s good looking, and then of course there are all your fears about being hurt again in this relationship and you even mentioned being scared that if you were alone on your first date he might try and harm you then. That sounds quite typical of Venus square Pluto. Another issue with this aspect is that it has the potential to introduce a ‘love-hate’ quality to the relationship at times. It’s possible that both of you might have to deal with difficult feelings of jealousy and possessiveness towards one another. It’s likely that you arouse in each other some of your deepest insecurities and you might both be scared of losing each other – or, rather, in the future this might be the case given that it’s early days right now. You might catch yourself feeling that your partner has the ‘upper hand’ in the relationship at times. You might both need to be careful that you don’t let any resentment build up and erupt. Again, communication is key – even when there are very difficult and awkward emotions to deal with, and which might be very hard to talk about. It’s very important to be on the same page.

Your Sun makes a trine to his own Sun and his Mercury, as they’re conjunct in his natal chart. The Sun represents the essence of who you are as an individual. It’s like the basic building blocks of you as a person, it’s your fundamental life force and it’s where you stand out in the world – it’s where you ‘shine’. Having both of your Suns in trine brings a fantastic quality of energising each other. You’re both likely to feel very supported by one another. This will strengthen your relationship substantially. You both reassure each other and confirm each other’s purpose in whatever is you’re set out to do. You’ll probably feel that you’re both ‘going somewhere’ together and that your basic aims and approach in life are in harmony with one another. There’s probably a great deal of mutual respect. You’re both likely to feel well understood and appreciated by one another. You breathe life into each other. It’s certainly an aspect which will help you withstand any difficulties you have in your relationship because fundamentally, you recognise each other’s needs. Likewise with your Sun’s trine to his Mercury, there’s probably a very positive flow of communication and activity between the pair of you. Most of the time, you’re likely to understand what each other means. With some of your other aspects, there’s a clear need to communicate well and with your Sun in trine to his Mercury, you likely know just how to do that in the best possible way. Your partner understands your intentions and you might admire your partner’s intellect. You won’t be likely to run out of stimulating conversations with each other! The two of you are very able to put your minds together to solve problems.

Your Sun also squares your partner’s Venus. It’s possible that at times some of your partner’s values will be at odds with your general outlook and goals. Your partner might find you too authoritative at times and perhaps too self-righteous. When he feels like that, he might resort to passive-aggressive behaviour or might try and charm you into getting his way. Your partner might actually feel like he goes out of his way to please you a lot of the time whilst not getting much in return. It’s also possible that at times (but not all of the time) you take your partner for granted and your partner might notice that, or perhaps he might perceive this as happening even it’s not your intention or you’re unaware of it. Your partner might have a need for these things to be balanced, as in if he does something for you, he might have an expectation that then you’ll do something for him. There could be arguments over money and spending habits. Yet again, of course, it’s all about communication – but here I think the onus is more on your partner to tell you if he feels like he’s being taken for granted in any way because this aspect seems to be one where you’re not necessarily realising you’re doing anything wrong, but your partner could develop some difficult feelings which he needs to express if he’s to resolve them.

Another nice aspect here, your Moon is in trine to your partner’s Jupiter. Jupiter is the planet representing expansion and optimism and is traditionally seen as a planet of good luck and benevolence. It also represents philosophy and higher learning, as well as good faith and generosity. You’ll probably feel that you’re able to express your feelings openly with your partner and even though at times that might spill over into excess, it’s likely to be warmly received by your partner most of the time. This aspect really gives a very vibrant and generous energy to both of you. You might find you both have a very ‘can-do’ attitude around each other and will find each other very supportive in whatever endeavour either of you are up to. You might find yourself feeling that you’re on an exciting adventure in your relationship and that you keep on learning and growing as a person with your partner. There’s probably a great capacity for openness and goodwill between the pair of you, and it’s another aspect which suggests honest communication. You might both be encouraged to take leaps of faith with each other, which more often than not will open the gates for good things to flow into your lives. It’s possible you’ll both end up overextending yourselves with each other and perhaps making too many promises, but with the trine aspect, you’ll probably find yourselves able to deliver most of the time.

Your Pluto opposes your partner’s Sun in your Synastry chart. It’s another aspect indicating the two of you being very powerfully drawn to each other, in a way with this aspect that might be hard to put into words. It’s possible that at times your partner might feel a bit threatened when you express your independence and autonomy, even if at other times he’s very supportive of you. Again, because it involves Pluto, it’s possible that your partner has yet another window into your soul and can very easily see your strengths and your vulnerabilities. Although, it’s just as possible that you have the same window into his psyche. He might have to be careful not to undermine your confidence at times, but of course, so might you to him. I’d be prepared for some explosive moments in your relationship with this aspects as it can bring out the compulsive dark side in both of you, but as long as you’re careful and you take the time to consider what you do and what you say, it doesn’t need to be too much of a worry.

Well, I hope all this helps you and calms your fears about this new relationship unfolding. At the very least, I hope it can shed light on the relationship and give you a wider understanding of what’s likely to be going on between the two of you. Every relationship has its difficulties, but they don’t all need to be red flags warning you to leave. From what I see, yes, there might be some difficulties you encounter but, and I stress this, it’s worth working through them if and when possible. The rewards once you do will be great. Your past does not have to define your future. Be sure to come back to me if you have any more questions.

Best wishes,
Joe.
Gauri91
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Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2018 9:27 am
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Re: What is the reason for my bad luck in love?

Post by Gauri91 »

Thank you so much for taking your time to read our chart, dear Joe!

A lot of the things you write make a lot of sense, especially what you say about chiron. I'm so afraid that he will stop talking to me all of a sudden, and just leave me for good. I'm experiencing some intense emotions these days, and it certainly isn't helping me that he's leaving to his home country for one and a half month now. I know this fear is something I need to work myself through and just try to be patient and be a bit more detached from him.
Also I know he lost his mom when he was very young, so it makes sense if it is true that he's got chiron in his 7th house as well.

I do have one more question... do I have any good or bad aspects or planets in my natal chart for relationships? Does it say anything about my chances of starting a new relationship this year or in the near future?

Best regards,
Gauri91
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