Can't seem to get together...

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ag_ne
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Can't seem to get together...

Post by ag_ne »

Hi,

I'm writing about a relationship with my friend, who is also a romantic interest for the past year.
In the beginning when we met there was quite a magnetic fascination and affinity but somehow not physical attraction... there was a certain sense of frustration due to that, and we're good friends now sharing a lot with each other. He is very shy and proud and I feel if I ever wanted something that I would need to initiate it. We have a deep affinity and intuitive connection, we also work together, but it never seems to go anywhere romantically?
I wonder what this relationship potential is?
I am probably going to confront him about his feelings and about us very soon because the tension is getting very strong - however, I'm not clear exactly about what i want...

I'm born on 5.7.1988 at 3.08 in Slovenia, and he is on 10.3.1983 unknown hour in Amsterdam.
Thanks for your answer in advance.

Best,
AG
admin
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Re: Can't seem to get together...

Post by admin »

Hi ag_ne,

It’s very difficult to get an accurate reading without his time of birth as, not least of all, we don’t know where his Moon is, and the Moon is very important in relationships as it’s relevant to our most fundamental needs and emotions, and therefore how we relate to another at that very basic level. So, if you can try very hard to find out his birth time, this would give a much clearer picture.

If you wish, I can work in a minimal way with what we have, and already I can see so many very strong connections. But again, without his time of birth it will be incomplete...and half a story can be misleading, which I’m sure you’ll understand.

I’ll wait to hear from you again in the hope that you may be able to get that information before I attempt to proceed.

Best,
Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
ag_ne
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Re: Can't seem to get together...

Post by ag_ne »

Hi,

yes absolutely, I understand that.
It might be a while for me to get his exact time, if he even knows it, but I am 95% that he has his moon in capricorn (he has a very capricornian vibe - likes order and is very rigid in his perception), which means he was born in the morning.

I will get back to you after my hopefully successful attempt to get the birth time.
Thanks!

Best wishes,
Ag
ag_ne
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Re: Can't seem to get together...

Post by ag_ne »

Hi,

Ok, I've figured out he has Sagittarius rising and moon in Capricorn.

What I wanted to ask was:
- the Mars square Neptune in composite and the double whammy in synastry really really scares me. I fear that it's always going to be confusing, sexually unsatisfying, and debilitating. And to top that off, Moon/Jupiter square Saturn...
- Three inconjuncts in composite and a lot of positive neptune contacts, seem to mean platonic union and blockages?

This back and forth between us has been going on for one year, we work together, but none of us ever admits to liking the other. He also confuses me, since I'm used to very masculine guys and he's very feminine and allows me to take the wheel. So I never really considered him as a potential partner, until now when I realised that these feelings between us are so intense I can't ignore it anymore because of ego concerns. I'm prepared to throw all ideas about gender and career out the window.
I know he likes me, I can even say he admires me - we have an exact Sun Venus conjunction in composite.

Is this relationship worth plunging into, or will I just get hurt by confusion and Saturn again?

Thanks in advance!
Best,
Ag
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Re: Can't seem to get together...

Post by admin »

Hi Ag_ne,

Well, you haven’t given me his Rising Degree, without which a Composite can’t tell exactly in which Houses all the Comp. planets fall. (Any degree in Sag. would still give Moon in Cap).

But yes, even without that, the Mars/Neptune issues can surely be a very big problem as it’s so hard for you to be straightforward and honest with each other, even if unintentionally. And, the relationship can never seem to quite get off the ground. As you say, he leaves it to you to ‘take the wheel’, which his Pisces Sun appears at least, to be happy to let you do. This is truly a very confusing relationship because his Sun is also conjunct your NN/Moon and Mars, trine your Sun, and all in sextile to his Moon .

I’m suspecting that this relationship – for you – is about discovering your Pisces NN ‘future path’. Furthermore, discovering it in the ‘right’ way. By this I mean, learning how to sacrifice your own needs and ego for another, or in the wider scheme of things, for others; but also doing so without losing your ‘self’ in the process. There really is so much more to this North Node connection so I suggest that if you haven’t done so, you investigate NN in Pisces/SN in Virgo, in order to understand what I feel is one of the primary issues about – perhaps even the purpose of - this relationship, at the very least, for you - but probably for both of you.

Speaking of the Nodes, there is your Uranus/Saturn conjunct his SN (and Neptune)...all drawing in your natal Mars/Moon square your Mercury. And then...his Saturn(Pluto) conjunct your Pluto ! Holy Moly ! No wonder you’re confused !

So, let’s look at current transits which may give a few clues: I see that transiting Pluto is now conjunct your 9th House cusp, and if nothing else, this can lead you to a powerful need to dig deeper into the ‘meaning’ of “Life, the Universe and Everything”; mere facts (3rd House/Gemini) no longer suffice, and with Pluto quincunx your Mercury during this initial entry, you may be finding it particularly hard to be in control of your thoughts (am probably stating the obvious there as I’m sure you are aware of this). I think that you are also feeling transiting Pluto’s sextile to your Moon, and as it draws closer to that, I’m sure you will also find a resolution to your own Moon/Mercury square...which this relationship is beginning to give you more understanding about, despite the apparent confusion.

And, of course...there’s transiting Neptune close to your North Node now. Actually it’s been well within range of this since early 2018. And now also it’s beginning to come to the conjunction with his Sun, and also sextile that Comp. Sun/Venus ! So Much Neptune in every direction in all of this.

Meanwhile, transiting Uranus has just turned direct in your 12th House, trine to your Uranus/Saturn in the 7th...for the last time. As it’s also been in opposition to his Pluto and trine his Neptune, AND in conjunction with your Composite Mercury, this suggests that some kind of breakthrough or resolution isn’t far off now. Whether it will be complete, I don’t know, as Neptune is still having a hand in it all.

Well, that’s a very long way around of answering your question. Unfortunately there is no simple ‘yes or no’ answer. I think that this relationship is an incredibly valuable experience for you, and I see in your Progressed Chart that Prog. Desc. is just past, but still in range of, the conjunction with your Prog. Neptune ! So, to my mind it surely sounds like you need to investigate your own Pisces/Neptune as much as you can, especially your North Node in Pisces.

It’s way too complicated to go on about what it means for him, apart from the fact that he has Neptune conjunct his SN – conjunct your Uranus/Saturn etc. so in some way he’s experiencing, through your relationship, a kind of helplessness he’s always felt and may be looking to you to ‘parent/mentor/guide’ him in some way and at some level. That doesn’t sound very healthy, but nonetheless, there’s some very very important connection here that can help both of you to understand so much, if you are able to look at it all from ‘another level’.

I do hope that some of this has helped, and if there’s anything here you’d like to ask further about, please do and I will try to assist.

I suggest that you also ask your question in our Tarot area here so you can get another view or angle about it.

Best,
Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
ag_ne
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Re: Can't seem to get together...

Post by ag_ne »

Hi,

Thank you so much for your comprehensive insight into the situation, it is beyond helpful and eye-opening!

You are absolutely on point - For the last two/three years my lesson has been in exploring the Pisces/Neptune in me, especially since my chosen life path is art/spirituality. I've had hard Neptune transits on my Asc and Venus, due to which my head was filled with thick fog for a few years. I thought it was due to these, that my life was all of the sudden filled with Pisces dates, friends, coworkers and love interests. (I've never before in my life been close to a Pisces person or Neptune dominant, and since 2 years ago most of my interactions are with Pisces people, which I find mind-blowingly interesting.)

I also thought this relationship was aiding towards a resolution to my very painful moon square Saturn - which we both have and it therefore shows in the composite as well. Can you give me some insight into that square in this situation?
Usually when I have this with people we never even become friends, but in my recent significant friendship we had this (sun/moon/mars/venus conj squared by Saturn) and it ended badly.
In my interpretation, it shows as another reason why we can't get together with this guy - we both don't wish to show ourselves as vulnerable.
But this is the first friendship I've ever had, in which we are friends despite this square, giving me hope that it could be transcended through mutual awareness of it?
At least I plan to come out very honestly about my feelings pretty soon.

Thanks!
Ag
ag_ne
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Re: Can't seem to get together...

Post by ag_ne »

Hi there again!

We finally had the talk this past weekend. It was the most confusing talk in my life. He told me he never liked anyone like this before, but that he's incapable of having emotional intimacy (he's on the autistic spectrum). He also said we're too similar and he didn't wanna be with someone who intellectualises feelings like him anymore. Yet he kept saying what a strong connection we have. I felt he wanted to get close to me physically, but just couldn't cross the line. And I couldn't either. We kept starring into each others eyes. Unbearable feelings. Double signals. Confusion. We know we love each other, but we can not cross the barrier between us. There's an invisible wall.

When looking at our constellations, there's all these soulmate connection - have suns trine, moons sextile, venuses sextile, ascendants opposite, my venus around his descendant, my sun in his 7th, his in my 11th, sun conjunct moon&node, saturn on the south node, jupiter/moon and 9th house connections, venus/mars, mars/moon, composite sun-venus conjunction and moon-jupiter. He feels like a soulmate. We move in sync, we think in sync, we talk in sync, it is the most natural thing to be with each other. Yet can't cross the line over to the physical side.

But the horrible thing is, in every single chart (synastry, composite, davidson, horary) we have the Mars-Neptune square.

It's like the universe telling me, here is your soulmate, but you can't touch them. This is possibly the most debilitating feeling in the world.

It does feel great to have spoken my truth and to have brought our connection into the open.

Is there any advice you can give me, on my future love life?

Thanks!
Ag
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Re: Can't seem to get together...

Post by admin »

Hi ag_ne,

So sorry for the long delay in replying. :oops:

Yes, Mars square Neptune is a very difficult aspect - to say the least - and especially between both charts, as it makes it so very difficult to understand each other’s energies. Neptune keeps trying to raise it to another level whilst Mars needs physical contact and expression. What adds to this is your Mars/Moon in Water square his Neptune in Fire, and his Mars/IC (the ‘natural’ 4th is Cancer/Water) in Fire square your Neptune in Earth.

Inevitably there’s an ‘out-of-synch’ matter going on constantly between you in that area which can’t be countered by all of those beautiful aspects. And of course this means that clearly this relationship wasn’t meant to be experienced at – at least - that physical level. But of course there’s more than just ‘sex’ in this, and remembering too – and perhaps most importantly - that your Saturn/Uranus is involved in all of this as it’s conjunct his Neptune/South Node (square your Mars/Moon). So...it’s not just Mars square Neptune that’s the problem here.

This whole conjunction with his S. Node suggests the importance of the relationship but also that there’s something repeating here (for him from his past – the autism at least that you mentioned). But I guess now the question is who’s next in your life ?

As I’m sure you’re aware, Jupiter is now in your 7th and will be there until the end of this year so ‘the door is open wide’ (and hopefully...wisely). As it’s going through there it’s in opposition to your Mercury square to your Moon/Mars in Pisces, so you’ll need to pull back a little and not have your expectations so high with each one you meet, especially as it will clip the opposition to your Venus during July/Aug. at least. Also it will be squaring your Nodal Axis again during June – Oct. and then towards the end of the year will again square your Moon/Mars and conjunct your Saturn/Uranus near the end of your 7th House - so you might well meet many who feel ‘right’ but may just be ‘passing through’. Not to say that you should ignore them, but just keep alert to your reactions and feelings towards all of them.

As Jupiter rules your 7th and is in your 12th, I’d say that every relationship you have enriches you in ways you may not always recognise or be aware of. Yes it’s true that it does - or should do – this for us all, but for you, it is especially so. I might even go so far as to say that your partners benefit so much more than you – or they - may ever know or realise, and they appear in your life and are drawn to you to understand the differences that exist between people. Somehow you teach them, and your experiences with them of course enlarge your own knowledge and understanding.

Transiting Neptune is conjunct your North Node during this period and that can result in your meeting people with who make demands and test your innate sense of ‘guilt’...perhaps they unwittingly make you feel you owe them, simply because you sense somewhere that they need what you have to give. This is beautiful but...just be careful of ending up giving so much that you have nothing left for yourself.

Is any of this ringing any bells or making sense to you ? I hope so as on reading it back I got carried away a bit there ! (All that Neptune can do that to a person :roll: ).

Best,
Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
ag_ne
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Re: Can't seem to get together...

Post by ag_ne »

Hi,

No worries at all, thanks for your reply :)

It all makes a whole lot of sense, I'm glad you got carried away :D
In regards to Saturn/Uranus and S.Node, is this a bonding or a separating aspect? I have another friend who was born a month before this guy, and she's the best thing that happened to me in years... I have such a deep feeling of healing with her. We went to psychotherapy together, and now we analyse our experiences, talk for hours, and arrive at such striking realisations. She teaches me deeply. Everyone thinks we're sisters!

With him - we work together on self-initiated projects, planned for the next year or two ahead. And in regards to a repeating issues with S.Node - he described his previous crushes often, and two of these went exactly as ours went... he would like the person, stick with them in a kind of friendship, but would never make a move on them, for something he calls his pride. When he told me about that half a year ago, I almost choked on my wine from the striking resemblance to our situation, but didn't say anything off course... He also mentioned, these experiences hurt him deeply... I wondered, if he's telling me about that experience as a cry for help maybe... it certainly felt like a cry for help, for me to recognise his powerlessness over the situation or himself.... So that I would make a move and save him from this torture and his own inability to do cross this bridge... yet I didn't, cause I was confused myself.

The Jupiter as ruler of the 7th in the 12th hasn't served me well so far I'd say... I seem to attract those who need healing and other mental/financial help. I usually end up of poorer health and finances after relationships. I also never attract those who would be on my intellectual/success level, but always some kind of outcasts and foreigners who end up resenting me for my talent or looks, and controlling me heavily. Emotional/mental/physical abuse was common in my relationships in the past. I became so angry and resentful, I decided to never end up with a narcissistic/poor/Capricornian person anymore (half of my relationships were with Capricorns or Cap rising or both, who would tax my nerves and resources heavily), but than I fall in love with the most autistic AND poor Pisces artist with Cap moon ever hahahah so much for my smart decisions :lol:
Therefore I decided to embrace my spirituality and aloneness, and embarked on a path of self-mastery to change this pattern.
There remains a desire to find a friend who's also a partner, but somehow, based on experience and my chart, I'm not so confident that will ever happen. Maybe I'm a bit negative, should probably work on that...
My mother also has her Saturn ruling the 7th in Capricorn (conjunct Jupiter), and she never married again after my dad died very early on.

Neptune on my N.Node has been amazing so far... It's taking away everything that doesn't serve me, as I literally have zero energy for anything which isn't fulfilling my soul. I keep attracting people who wish to help me and facilitate my talents. I'm amazed and have an awakened sense of faith and hope in what I do. I feel it's pulling me where I was always meant to be, by me just sitting back and watching.

Jupiter transiting the 7th house is definitely opening doors, plenty of guys coming forward, but none I like... And the one person I do like, I can't have... Self-mastery path it is...

You've been so helpful, I'm eternally grateful!
Have a great weekend,
Ag
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