New relationship after a catastrophic affair...need your adv

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Nanouka
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New relationship after a catastrophic affair...need your adv

Post by Nanouka »

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I have had a very dramatic and catastrophic affair for 1,5 with a guy that squares my venus with his Pluto in my 7th! It had been very difficult to get over this as there were also manipulation issues and deception. Six months after the break up a new guy came into my life! Actually he came a bit earlier than that and tried hard to do something with me! I was also very negative towards going out so I met him in the most unexpected way! He is an A/C technician and he came for maintanance at my place with my parents and did everything he could to make me go out woth him which I did only four months later. Now, we are together but since I have this moon square sun natally and Nenprune square sun I need your guidance as I don't want to be self illusioned and have a yet another dramatic affair!
He is very attentive to my needs, I met his parents and entire family from the 1st week. He is very affectionate ,passionate and everything I would expwct but still the quincox between our lights are troubling me! The only drawback is jealousy! He is jealous a lot of me and this is something I hate!
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Nanouka
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Re: New relationship after a catastrophic affair...need your

Post by Nanouka »

Our birth date and place : mine is 4th of September 1977 at 22:05 in Athens Greece , and his 6th April 1983 at 03:00 in the morning in Kalamata Greece! Any insight would be greatly appreciated! One strange thing is taht even though we do not have smooth aspects between the moon and suns we get along greatly at home! We cook together, we do the housework together well maybe he is the one that does most if it!
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Re: New relationship after a catastrophic affair...need your

Post by admin »

Hi Nanouka,

Thank you for the birth data for both of you, and I'll get back to you about your queries as soon as I'm able.

Please be a bit patient as I have a number of synastry queries waiting.

Best,
Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
Nanouka
Posts: 17
Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2016 7:14 pm
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Re: New relationship after a catastrophic affair...need your

Post by Nanouka »

We won't ho anywhere!I have plenty of patience! One more thing I can say about him is that he has had a dramatic relationship before ours, they had mats and venus conunctiins double whammy, yet Pluto played out a lot between them! She had Pluto in her 1st and she was also a Virgo, had her Venus in Leo as well but jealousy and infidelity on her part made them fight and have major jealousy issues! As far as I am concerned, he is afraid of losing me, and is jealous of my male friends yet he knows that I cannot erase my circle of friends and because my brother has been obssesed with his current girlfriend he has lived my anger towards my brother so he has been trying not to suffocate me which is SO nice! I need space and freedom due to my Utanus and he subcosciously trying to give it to me! The feeling I have in this relationship is that he is doing everything as if he is serving and addressing all my needs! He has also made it clear that he wants us to get married and start a family! That this is not a fling or a minor affair that is why I have been introduced to his family and circle of friends. This is SO fast and different from the previous catastrophic relationship I had! So, yes take your time we will be around to liaten to your advice!
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Re: New relationship after a catastrophic affair...need your adv

Post by admin »

Hi Nanouka,

Ahhh, those Pluto connections – always difficult, but which can be used for the benefit of both IF both people are able to recognise what’s going on, though this new man’s jealousy issues already are clearly an issue.

Currently, you’re not in a position to make major choices as Neptune is, as you observed, opposite your Sun/Mercury and in square to your natal Neptune. Anything is possible though given that Jupiter has just moved into your 7th House (relationships) and will be opening up and widening relationship prospects. Right now it’s in conjunction with your Uranus, so be prepared for a lot of excitement and stimulation with...some unexpected events or changes. Jupiter then sextiles your Sun/Mercury (trine transiting Neptune), so matters may further expand, move forward and give you a boost – but you need to try to be cautious, as this can over-inflate your hopes and expectations.

He is going through a major change in his life as Pluto is currently conjunct his Ascendant, and clearly you are a powerful part of this shift in consciousness that he’s undergoing. Uranus is now in his 3rd House conjunct his Mercury, so although he’s experiencing a lot of excitement and stimulation, he might well be changing his mind ‘like the wind’.

Saturn is coming to the conjunction with his South Node/Neptune, so you might well be helping him to ‘change his past’ and his old ways of thinking, and not least of all, his old out-worn habitual ways of acting and reacting. But he might well be feeling very unsure of himself as a result of this and so this jealousy may be intensified, especially with Pluto sitting on his ascendant (though it is leaving gradually).

His Sun conjunct your South Node (opposite your Pluto conjunct your North Node) is a powerful combination, and I’m suspecting that this relationship is giving you too, the opportunity to make some major changes within yourself. There is the danger for you that this is a pattern that is repeating and which therefore needs to be recognised as early in the relationship as possible, otherwise you’ll find that you’re going ‘down that path’ again, especially re a partner being overly possessive.

However, in this case there is more opportunity to talk it over with him, appealing to his reason, though whether that will be successful will depend on how aware he is too about his current actions and needs.

His Mars conjunct your Ascendant (and Chiron) can feel hurtful at times, though it can also inspire you to action, for the most part, in a positive way. His Venus is in square to your Saturn, which adds to his jealousy too, as he’s afraid that you will reject or leave him. Abandonment is a strong issue in his chart.

His Pluto conj. his Saturn opposite his Mars suggests that he does view life as a major struggle, and that he may have had quite a difficult childhood, and as this falls close to your 7th House cusp (relationships), you may find he is projecting those difficulties onto you. However, it is in trine to your Mars/Jupiter, and sextile to your Saturn, so you may well be able to get him going when he gets into any negative or depressive states.

As you noted, his Pluto is quincunx your Moon and quincunxes aren’t all necessarily ‘bad’, though they do require quite a lot of work as both of you will need to keep shifting your viewpoints in order to understand each other. I note too that your Saturn is quincunx his Moon, which amplifies this need to constantly adjust to each other’s basic emotional requirements. But again, these quincunxes can lead to much growth as they force you to see things from each others’ viewpoints.

OK, so now Neptune: his Neptune in opposition to your Mars/Jupiter. This can result in misunderstandings, and can make it hard to get things done together, to make decisions and act on them. As his Pluto/Saturn sextiles his Neptune and trines your Mars/Jupiter, this indecisiveness can be modified, with effort. However, there are many very excellent contacts between a number of planets which may well help you both to overcome the more difficult interactions. It will depend, as always, on whether you can both use those terrific Pluto energies positively and consciously – not an easy task and in fact with such energies, only time will tell.

In the Composite, transiting Neptune is exactly conjunct the Ascendant ! So, here is the beauty, sensitivity and idealism that you are both experiencing in this relationship...currently. (Note that Pisces is Rising and therefore Neptune rules the whole chart).

This chart has the Moon in the 1st House, which of itself, gives a strong sense of unity at a fundamental level and gives a very caring quality to the relationship.

However (sorry), the Moon is in square to the Composite Sun/Venus (in the 4th), and opposite Saturn in the 7th, so you may have a fundamental difference in what you seek as a ‘family’, or should you live together. The fact that this Moon/Saturn/Sun/Venus is in square/opposition to the composite Neptune, means that you both need to try to be as realistic as possible. Fortunately, Neptune makes very wide aspects to these, so there is the possibility of a more conscious awareness of the idealism and dreamy facets of the relationship.

Mars is in the composite 3rd sextile the Moon, in wide trine to Saturn, so you may be able to talk things through, as long as neither of you react too impulsively. With transiting Saturn virtually in square to the composite Moon and to the opposition with composite Sun/Venus, also square Saturn... ... ...you might be finding that there are difficulties or delays, or some kind of obstructive energy going on around you. These next few weeks could test you both in some way. Perhaps it will be others around you or ‘society’ that attempts to hinder or put obstacles in the way of your relationship. Should this be the case, the question will be, can your relationship stand strong in the face of it ? This will be the test of it.

With Jupiter currently conjunct his Midheaven, then sextile his Asc. over Christmas, and then sextile his Moon (and your 10th/4th) from January through to May (repeating in Sept./Oct.), you may both weather the difficulties very well and come out of this current period stronger and with a greater understanding of each other. Certainly there is the opportunity for this to be the case, but inevitably it will, as always, depend on both of you and the efforts you are prepared to put into the relationship.

I would add that both of you are repeating patterns of behaviour in your relationships here, and this relationship is an opportunity to break those negative patterns so that you can both experience relationships in much more positive way.

I do hope this helps.

Best,
Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
Nanouka
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Joined: Thu Nov 03, 2016 7:14 pm
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Re: New relationship after a catastrophic affair...need your adv

Post by Nanouka »

"I would add that both of you are repeating patterns of behaviour in your relationships here, and this relationship is an opportunity to break those negative patterns" so that you can both experience relationships in much more positive way

I don't know whether he is repeating patterns in this relationship, the only thing I can point out is that my natal is very similar to that of his ex - Virgo Sun, Taurus rising, Venus in Leo!The only difference is that she has Pluto in the 1st in opposition to her moon in the 7th in Scorpio where I have my Uranus. She is VERY controlling, and I know this as she has started an affair with a friend of mine ( what a small world I know!) unlike myself!

He has probably learnt his lesson when jealousy comes into play! The first thing he has asked not to do was to be jealous and of course not to abandon my friends...That was weird for me as I have never been jealous of any bf and of course I have never abandoned my friends for a man! I know this has happened when he was with his ex to both of them!

I am aware of this Pluto energy...at least as far as this is permitted by my T.Neptune opposite my sun and my natal Neptune Sun square! I am trying NOT to explode and overreact but talk things through and when I do this the quincoxes are obvious...yet we always come to a consensus!

You are very correct about the fear of loss and abandonment. That's his major fear! He needs to feel secure in a relationship, but I told him that he will not be able to control my wvery move if this is what makes him feel secure as I won't permit it! And he accepted it! I was very blunt about possessiveness and jealousy! IT IS not easy for him to abandon such behaviour patterns..,but he has come ro a point that mentioned that on Saturday night I should go out with my friends as I hadn't seen them in a while due to him! That is progress! And he has never said so to his ex!

We work well together at home! Living together is easy for both, which is a relief and a surprise as we have all those quincoxes and squares no trining moon etc!

The venus/saturn square is active as right after we got together he had to move to a village 50km away until January! I don't consider this a problem, as in this way he cannot be over possessive! Actually, he is helpless when it comes to seeing me and following me around! He works 15 hours a day and it is up to me to drive to him! So, this period is teaching him to be calm and how to show trust in me!
Even though, he is not that sharp with words and his Mercury doesn't come out very consciously...he instictively senses that I am very independent! He admires that as an Aries Sun yet he is afraid that I will not be able to conform to the norms of the society for a family! I was puzzled when I heard this...I am a teacher with a phd, very successful and loving to my students...naturally good with children...So I guess he was projecting his infidelity fears on me not my potential as a mother!

Hopefully, we will make it! I will not repeat the mistakes of the past! After all, I could not do much then! He had his pluto on my 7th squaring my Venus! This is easier than that past relationship!That past relationship did not have Saturn connections, like this one! We have Pluto in my current affair but Saturn's presence is prominent! I have this feeling of obligation towards him like he does towards me! So I guess this can work better!

Thank you so much for your insight!
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