Constantly re-attracted synastry?

[Adoseofreality]

Hello,


Birth data is 11-2-69 9:27 pm, albany, ny and hers is 4-2-80 11:56 am, new brunswick, nj

I am a novice at synastry but have been doing some self-studies. I have seen some very tight cross-aspects in this synastry described below. A few for example that stick out for me are, A Sun/Moon Conjunction (opposite Saturn), a near exact venus/pluto conjunction, venus opp neputune, same ascendants (unsure if considered conjunct though about a 6* orb) and a Venus Trine mars. Parts of me feel there is great potential and also great heartache.

I was hoping for some insight if the admin has the time. It's like I am dealing with a female version of myself here. When I told her she was my female version her response was "it's hard to constantly look at a dirty mirror" and I have to admit I love the witty comebacks but without going into every detail of course, here is the general backstory:

about 10 years ago, she began coming to holiday parties/barbeques, she is a friend of a distant relative of mine. I felt an eerie connection with her and found her appealing, but she was engaged at the time and came with her boyfriend so I never pursued her but I had visions in my head where I literrally, saw her sitting on my couch years before she ever stepped foot in my house.

Fast forward to 9/6/15, haven't seen her around for a few years but she is back and now alone, no boyfriend. Out of nowhere, she pulls up a chair and sits right next me and starts talking and flirting with me about some enterprise she wants to be involved in. I was very taken aback and within a few weeks we became talking more and and seeing each other. I really liked her and was taken very aback but am iffy about relationships, I try to keep contact with her but i got sucked into projects at work and I lost track, we didn't talk for about 4 months. She completely stopped texting me and I reached out to her and apologized for not keeping in contact. I told her I wasn't with anyone else if that was what she thought and she said that was totally what she thought. I told her that I just got busy at work (I often work 6-7 days a week and she knew this so it wasn't a lie) but when I asked her what she was up to and if she was with anyone else she said Yes and that she did it because she assumed I was with someone else and that I didn't like her.


I don't know why but I got very mad and felt betrayed to some extent, it took me some time to not be mad anymore and i wasn't mad at her I guess mad at myself but we did shortly after resume our connection. She had some living troubles and I let her move into my house, but it eventually turned into a roommate type of situation and our schedules were night and day and I internally held some resentment over her hooking up with someone else.
I know very irrational but we did connect a few times, lots of push and pull.

I'm unsure about pursuing a serious relationship in general but I did ask her one night if she wanted to be my girl and she totally changed the subject, did not even answer my question so I stopped making any attempts. She moved out a few days before my birthday and left me a birhtday gift (the only one I received) But lately I've been getting these confusing text messages from her that imply that I rejected her multiple times and that she thinks I led her on. I don't know how to respond. I still have feelings for her and I have dated a few other girls since she left but I don't feel anything for them. Neither one of us is comfortable with clearly expressing anything apparently until months later. Would you let go or try again.

[admin]

Hi Adoseof...,

Just to clarify with those dates, is that the 2nd Nov. and 2nd April ?

I'm assuming that's the case but I'm asking because quite often such as 11/2 is written for 11th Feb. etc.

Thanks.

Admin.

[Adoseofreality]

Yes and thank you. You r ad it correct nov and April and she taped her birth certificate on her wall so she wouldn't lose it and the time was written on it so I m pretty sure it's accurate... thank you

[admin]

Thanks for that and also for all the other information, which is very helpful.

Synastry charts are very complex and take hours to do so I hope you can be a bit patient and give me a few days to respond.

Thank you.

Best,
Admin.

[admin]

Dear Adoseofreality,

There are some current issues that are standing out here. Both of you are experiencing some very strong Uranus aspects right now, and these will continue for some time. Primarily it’s transiting Uranus in square to both your Ascendants and Descendants (1st and 7th/relationships) and also to the Composite Asc., and this is very unsettling for you both, to say the least. She in particular is in a high state of flux – doesn’t know what she wants, and therefore doesn’t want to be tied down, especially at this time. And in fact, neither do you...even if you don’t realise it because your feelings are so strong for her.

Furthermore, currently transiting Saturn is in conjunction with her Neptune, adding to her state of confusion. And as she has Mercury in Pisces (Neptune’s Sign) in square to her natal Neptune, she is likely anyway to be very evasive in her communications, though not necessarily purposely. (For example, that matter of moving out a few days before your birthday but leaving you a birthday gift is a very mixed message, and surely frustrating for you). Added to this, Saturn rules both of your areas of relationships (and also the Composite relationship 7th), so you’re unlikely to get a clear understanding of what’s going on with or from her.

Oh yes, that Pluto/Venus/Jupiter conjunction is so very powerful and, as you no doubt know, can become quite obsessive... for both of you. And inevitably this was all that part of your feeling ‘betrayed’. The danger here of course is that either or both of you need to feel ‘in control’ of the other. And then it’s natural that this can become overwhelming. Jealousy can and probably will, rear its head, and even if you’re aware of this tendency, it can be very hard to ignore it.

And add to this, your Sun/Mercury in Scorp – the latter in conjunction with her Moon in Scorpio – and I would say that you both sense that if you really do come together, you might not be able to escape the power and depth of feeling it will generate. Remember that you are Scorpio and she is Aries, and Aries naturally needs freedom, especially given that her whole chart ‘hangs off’ that highly individual Sun in Aries at the very apex of her chart.

Mars ‘rules’ Aries and her Mars is in fiery fixed Leo ...conjunct your Moon. Up to a point, your Moon is very excited by this energy in her, but this can create some problems as although her Mars (and Aries Sun) are inspiring and exciting for you, there could be some ‘right royal’ arguments as you may feel that she doesn’t respond to or doesn’t recognise your own emotional needs. Moon in Leo needs at least some praise or recognition for the attention it gives to another, and she may be too busy with her own wants to be sensitive to yours, especially with her Uranus in square to your Moon, which can be very unsettling for you and make you feel like you don’t know where you stand.

Ironically, with your own Mars conjunct your Descendant/7th House cusp, you are naturally drawn to her Arian Sun and Mars in Leo, energy. However, your Mars is in square to your own Neptune which undermines your confidence (feeling ‘iffy’ about relationships), so when a situation like this crops up, you may doubt yourself even more.

With her Moon conjunct your Sun/Merc in Scorp and – as you noted – opposite your Saturn, (lack of support, or of understanding of ‘who you are’ by at least one of your parents in your early home life), you are seeking this support from her. On the one hand she understands your needs at an unspoken level. However, as it involves her Moon opp. your Saturn, she may back off if she feels it is ‘too much’ for her to deal with. Again however, with her Jupiter in sextile to your Mercury, and trine your Saturn, she may well be able to buoy you up and help you see this all from a more positive angle. This will perhaps not necessarily be in a conscious way, but simply as a result of the energy dynamics between you...at least with regard to this particular issue. I would add here that you – as the male energy (Sun in Scorp) - and she, as the female energy (Moon... conjunct your Sun) – is the ‘archetypal ideal’ combination. (If only that was all that was necessary !). And as much as your feeling that she is ‘a female version of you’ and her words: “It’s hard to constantly look at a dirty mirror”...this couldn’t describe your Sun conjunct her Moon in Scorpio, better. The Moon after all is the reflection, and Scorpio is very aware of the ‘darker’, even threatening, side of life.

Her Saturn is conjunct your South Node/Pluto (square her own Neptune). This suggests that there is some kind of link from the past. It doesn’t matter if you want to look at it as from a ‘previous life’, or simply that there is a pattern of energy that’s buried deeply in your DNA’s resonating here between you, it works in the same way. That is, you sense that there is ‘unfinished business’, and that in some way either or both of you ‘owe’ something to the other. Whatever or wherever it comes from, there’s the sense of a powerful need to fulfil some ‘destiny’ together. I suspect that from the way this relationship has proceeded so far, the timing has been out of kilter. And this Saturn/Pluto/S. Node sq. Neptune matter clearly describes the doubts by both of you assuming that the other wasn’t feeling the same way ...at the same time. This is something that will have to be overcome, and it can be, if you are both prepared to do the work necessary, and are able to develop a much needed trust.

And there is a lot of work to be done in this respect.

Somehow you will need to find and focus on the areas in which you are both interested and which bring you closely together, while at the same time allowing each other the space to follow and enjoy the areas, interests and goals that are quite different from each other’s. It can be done, but it will depend on the development of that deeper understanding and connection you have and how much leeway you can give each other. Trust isn’t the greatest capacity available here, but if you can develop this, then you can take this relationship far. But you can’t restrain or confine each other in any way, as this simply won’t work and certainly it will be stormy along the way. But, if you can find an area or focal point where you can aim for something together, this will go a long way to developing a successful relationship.

The Composite chart shows again, a ‘past-life’ or sense of knowing each other ‘before’, and also the capacity to understand each other, and from that understanding, to make it work. However, currently (and this is really I suppose, all you wanted to hear), there’s too much on/off – static electricity going on, so it isn’t the best time to try to cement the relationship. Better perhaps to keep the relationship at a friendly level, and come together later... when (and if) it suits you both, rather than giving any ultimatums or having expectations. Neither of you are settled enough to try to make it conform to a ‘normal’ relationship.

Hope that helps, in some way at least.

Best,
Admin.

[Adoseofreality]

Wow. What a fabulous explanation... regardless of what happens I have to tell you that you eased some of the obsessive thoughts I had about the last two years... She is not very stable right now and has me blocked on social media but she tries to get my attention and I am kind of blocking her out... but she said that she knew when I was thinking of her... she said that her grandmother told her to find a man with my name but my name is very common. .

. yes I am ashamed to admit that I've relied upon praise of others.too much..... one of the things I liked about her was that she was often posting quotes about not seeking others approval and it resonated with me. My father did horrible things to my first family and is in prison and it had distorted my views on humanity... although as a Leo moon I still require attrmtion and can be sulky if I don't get it...

Do you have any articles on Pluto transit descendant. I
also note that we both will be experiencing transit Pluto to our descendants soon, with me going thru it first. Ive had difficulty letting go and love has left me lost and broken but having your words to come back to and understand soothes my soul... I hope to return the favor to someone... someday... i hope you enjoyed my post too

[admin]

Hi adoseofreality,

Sorry for the delay in replying.

Re Pluto coming to your Descendant(s), that won't be there - as you are no doubt aware - until 2019. So, plenty of time to prepare ! However, it will arrive at the square to your Venus/Jupiter early next year and no doubt you will start to feel it's effects before that as Pluto is about to turn direct (in 10 days time) and when it starts to pick up speed, you will begin to feel its affect on your Venus/Jupiter...and her Natal Pluto.

Re articles on Pluto transiting Descendant, if you type that into your search engine you'll find heaps. But...a word of warning, remember that it's never exactly the same experience for each person as it depends on the Sign in which Pluto is at birth, the House it's in, the House ruled by it and the aspects made to that natal Pluto. I think the fundamental meaning is 'transformation of relationships' as your attitude to these undergoes a powerful shift as you find you develop different needs of any close relationship. And as you will both be going through this more or less together, it could well move the relationship to a whole new level. Naturally it will depend on where you are in your life/lives at that time.

There is a terrific book by Jeff Green: "Pluto - The Evolutionary Journey of the Soul" published in 1987 (if you can lay your hands on it). He does talk a lot about 'karma' which I personally find just a tad too much, but of course that's only my personal opinion. But overall, it's a fascinating and incredibly informative work.

Thanks very much for your feedback, and yes I have enjoyed your posts which help very much my own learning process.

And I'm looking forward to hearing more about your experiences and progress during this journey !

Best to You,
Admin.