Synastry Request

Note that synastry requires two charts to be set up and analysed so, before asking, please make sure that this is a serious relationship. This is a free board and our time to respond is limited.
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admin
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Synastry Request

Post by admin »

Re: Synastry Chart Interpretation
Postby admin » 13 Aug 2017 09:06 am

Bili wrote:
Hello,
I am new to the forum, not sure how it all works, and sorry to interrupt. I sent a private message asking for help for synastry interptration. Should I also write here, or? Again, sorry for the stupid question...


Hi Bili,

Yes, it's better to start a new thread in this Synastry Forum area, with a different Topic heading, otherwise it gets very confusing for us all.

(Thanks for the pm to which I've replied).

Best,
Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
admin
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Re: Synastry Request

Post by admin »

Hi Bili,

Currently, Neptune is retrograde in watery Pisces in the composite 5th (romantic love) so you may have to wait until he turns direct (Nov/Dec) before you might be able to get this relationship moving along, not least of all because Neptune rules your Sun in Pisces on the 7th/relationships, and also his Sun in Pisces, conjunct his own 4th House cusp. Added to this, this retrograde Neptune is conjunct his Mercury in his 4th, so he’s in quite a confused state at this time and will be finding it hard to make up his mind (Mercury) about anything right now, and he may be unwittingly misleading, or at least feel like he can’t express his feelings, simply because he’s not sure what they are himself.

In the Composite chart, Neptune is conjunct the 4th House cusp – the basis of the relationship – and this planet here suggests that the roots of the relationship aren’t on ‘solid ground’, despite the fact that earthy practical Capricorn is there which would ordinarily suggest the potential to build a strong foundation. Neptune there can tend to work to dissolve the basis of the relationship and make it unsteady – it’s like mixing water and earth and then trying to build a concrete structure on that mix.

I realise that this sounds rather depressing, but there are some very good and helpful planetary configurations both between your natal charts and also in the composite chart. A lot of potentially stimulating and exciting discussions can help both of you to make interesting discoveries about yourselves, and about Life. And your Venus conjunct his 4th House cusp can help him to feel comfort and feel loved deep down within him. It’s a lovely warm feeling for him.

But (and I’m sorry about having to use that word), there is the potential for a lot of explosive inter-actions, especially if one of you tries in any way to limit or influence the other too much. In this relationship it is vital that you allow each other the freedom and independence in the areas in which you need that freedom. In other words, if you push each other too hard to be or do something ...to change each other to suit the other...then sparks will fly and you can get locked into a mighty battle of wills.

There is the potential for this relationship to develop into something quite strong, but honesty is needed on both sides...an honesty that needs to be gentle rather than too direct and harsh...for the most part at least. Obviously sometimes the truth isn’t always gentle, nor gently or gratefully received.

I think that there is such a strong sense of ‘knowing each other’ (your Moon close to his South Node - sort of a ‘past-life’ feeling) that you may expect the relationship to be in ‘this life’ what it was in a previous one. And it may be that in fact you have met because of this connection and feeling, and expect it, or feel the need for it, to proceed in the same way ‘this time around’. But perhaps it is that this time you are together to experience it in a different way (both of your Sun’s in Pisces conjunct your North Node).

I suspect that you will grow tremendously from your experience in this relationship as not least of all it will help you understand your needs in relationships, as well as help you to define your own Self, your individuality, much more. Your Sun in Pisces conjunct your 7th House cusp may cause you to tend to lose your Self in another, and to view a partner in a very idealistic way which can make it hard for you to deal with their reality.

This may also result in your being attracted to partners who are somehow in need; who seem to need to be cared for; to someone who is sick, alcoholic or in some way wounded or emotionally dysfunctional – a ‘victim’. And perhaps also you need to be a bit careful of becoming the ‘victim’ yourself. However, you do have the capacity to ground these feelings and to deal with the reality of a relationship with your Sun in sextile to earthy Saturn in practical Capricorn, but you may need to work hard to develop this – not least of all because idealistic illusory Neptune is currently going through your 7th House/relationships where it has been since around 2013. So it might be a good idea to think back on your relationships during these past 4 years, especially as this transit through this area continues until 2025/2026. I think that this relationship will surely help you to see and understand much more, how and why you are attracted to what you see as ‘lost souls’. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t help them, but it does mean that you need to be aware of why you do so.

Mostly I think that this relationship is very much about your Saturn/Neptune conjunction in your 5th House (love matters) and establishing an understanding about these energies within you. That is, understanding and realising what is ‘real’ and what is ‘fantasy’.

You are coming to your ‘Saturn Return’. This is a powerful and pivotal point in all of our lives, and we all experience it around the age of 29. It’s when we ‘come of age’, or begin to separate ourselves from our parental and peer influence and begin to become more our ‘true’ individual selves. For you this is very much relevant to this current relationship (and to any other relationship that may develop during these next couple of years), not least of all because natal Saturn is exactly conjunct your natal Neptune, so you experience both of these energies simultaneously. Hopefully you can see from all I’ve said before here, how this is and will be relevant. To me it suggests the capacity within you to unite these two very different energies in a way that no-one else can. It can elevate the ‘reality’ to its highest and purest state despite the self-doubt experienced along the way. You might say that it’s the ultimate and pure ‘self-sacrifice’, but a positive one rather than any personal relationship needs.

You have a powerful intuition, and when you use this rather than any tendency to over-analyse, it will guide you well, as I’m sure you are aware.

I do hope this helps, though I understand if it seems a bit vague and confusing. Naturally, if you need me to try to explain any part of this further, please do ask and I’ll do my best to assist.

Best,
Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
Bili
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Re: Synastry Request

Post by Bili »

Hello Admin,

First of all - thank you so much for all work you put into this. I then apologize for the late answer - I felt I have to take some time before I respond.

For the first part - great, I will wait until the end of the yeaр, since I also feel I have to figure a lot of things for myself before I keep the contact with the person. I realized I am ruining a lot of the communication because of past demons and things I have to currently deal with it. I felt he is confused for something, so thank you for pointing it - I will be more gentle and patient...

"In the Composite chart, Neptune is conjunct the 4th House cusp .... the roots of the relationship aren’t on ‘solid ground’". - I really got upset about this once, since truly want to build something strong and solid. Like :I got your back and I feel you got mine: thing. I am tired from past relationships, where I was looking for support, communication, honesty and development with the partner and all looked just... muddy.... falling apart... deceptive... I don't really understand that part and what do you mean by it? I just felt with this person could be different... It's just something in him that makes me feel secure and sure.

Sounds depressing..., but I am willing to put the effort. Yes, we have very stimulating conversations, and I feel we can discover a lot about ourselves, but that all sounds like good friendship. At this stage (it might change), I am afraid to fall in love with someone who I can talk to, develop and share things with, bond and to turn out that he does not see me that way.. and just as friend.... Do you think the conversations are more enjoyable for me? Do you think there might be potential for romantic feelings, not only :best buddies: from his side?

About the explosiveness- I felt it, and I think I am getting better not to influence and limit and vice versa. I am very glad you mentioned it. Freedom and independance - yes!

Honesty on both sides... I am still not sure about his emotions towards me, but I know I was sometimes harsh and I am determined to soften things (it is again from my past demons). "Relationship to develop in something quite strong"? What do you mean?

I feel like I know him, yes, but strangely I don't have many expectations of how things should go. I am not sure what it was in past life and what it should be now...

Losing myself - sometimes is very true, idealizing, not sure how to fix it yet... But sometimes I think I see things CLEARLY for what they are, and if I say something... people might get offended from my honesty... I just hope I will be able to synchronize who I am with someone's reality, it's painful to live in illusions and/or misunderstandings.

Not attracted to these people anymore. Maybe I was feeling like a victim until now. And I feel I have to be responsible for my own life and I want someone who does the same. These patterns with relationships continued more than 8 years and I really feel repeating things over and over - I am exhausted and I really have to think how to change. Until 2025/2026? Does this mean, I won't be able to be in a healthy, successful relationship til these years? I think, I learned very subtly from this man, that you can help people, that you can truly care, but you have to set your own boundaries. I will help people, but you are right, I have to think why and to whom.

I didn't understand about "understanding these energies within you; what is real and fantasy?" Do you mean, I met this man so I can grow and get more realistic view of life... or that I am not seeing him for what he is (I am idealizing him and he is just another lesson and reality check) ?...

About Saturn-return - I feel enormous pressure of separating myself from my background, finding who I really am (kinda late... but oh, well...) and having to understand what I need in a relationship and how to handle one at the same time.... Self-doubt - true. But I am trying to put it aside, because I feel I have to become better, true-er me. Big decisions ahead...

I overanalyzed again, because I wanted to give you some comments back (in the hopes to be useful for your work?) and because I wasn't sure I understood everything. Also, THANK you... for reminding me I have intuition... somehow after this week and your comments I feel more quiet, more "listen and wait, trust". I don't know why, but I have a very good feeling about this person, but what I also feel is that I should be alone for some time, as I mentioned above, and give room to the other person as well.

I'd be glad if you can give some comments on the questions above, WHEN you have the time ( I am not anymore hurying for anywhere :D : ))) and if possible, to write just few words of how he perceives the "relationship" with me, since I felt it is more how I feel about my interactions with him.

Thank you again, it was of a great help, surely many things to chew on for a long time. <3
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Re: Synastry Request

Post by admin »

In the Composite chart, Neptune is conjunct the 4th House cusp .... the roots of the relationship aren’t on ‘solid ground’". - I really got upset about this once, since truly want to build something strong and solid. Like :I got your back and I feel you got mine: thing. I am tired from past relationships, where I was looking for support, communication, honesty and development with the partner and all looked just... muddy.... falling apart... deceptive... I don't really understand that part and what do you mean by it? I just felt with this person could be different... It's just something in him that makes me feel secure and sure.
This will depend upon how much both of you are able to deal with the practical realities of being together and yet still be able to retain your ideals about each other. If you can do this, rather than just dreaming about what you might be together, then this could work really well. It is a Big Ask, but yes, it can be done... if BOTH of you are prepared and able to create and sustain that level together. To be honest, I think this can be achieved as there’s a lot of earthy practicality there, as well as the strength to sustain the high level necessary.
Sounds depressing..., but I am willing to put the effort. Yes, we have very stimulating conversations, and I feel we can discover a lot about ourselves, but that all sounds like good friendship. At this stage (it might change), I am afraid to fall in love with someone who I can talk to, develop and share things with, bond and to turn out that he does not see me that way.. and just as friend.... Do you think the conversations are more enjoyable for me? Do you think there might be potential for romantic feelings, not only :best buddies: from his side?
Discovering a lot about yourselves isn’t just about friendship as of course, this is the most vital part of any worthwhile relationship. Re whether the conversations are more enjoyable for you, you both get different things from your conversations, or you experience them in different ways. So it isn’t a matter of who enjoys your conversations more. He understands your words and thoughts in a more feeling way, and may appreciate your ability to give words to his feelings and thoughts, to view them from a more objective and rational point of view...as long as you don’t try too hard to make him understand what to you seems logical. His Mercury in Pisces can seem irrational to you at times, and if you push him to understand your logic, he may feel threatened or even ‘silly’...and then come the eruptions.

I think it’s important that you don’t challenge him too much in your conversations as I think that he will feel cornered/threatened which will then diminish his ability to respond appropriately. Mercury in Pisces can tend to see situations in ‘wholes’ rather than in their separate parts which can make it hard for him to get his thoughts and words into a proper order, especially if he feels emotional about the topic being discussed, or if the topic is about his emotions and feelings. Mercury in Pisces can find it hard to express emotions, especially if trying to convey them to an airy/intellectual Mercury in Aquarius.

Furthermore, his Mercury is in square to his Saturn, so he is reticent about expressing himself and his emotions as he may well have been put down for not expressing himself ‘properly’ when he was very young. I think he may have been very misunderstood as a child. But you can ‘heal’ a lot of this for him, simply by being aware of when he can’t express clearly what he means, and giving him time to do so. And remember too his Scorpio Rising and Moon in Scorpio, which I went into previously. Let him express his feelings when he’s ready, and if you can be sensitive to his unspoken signals and be prepared to realise that he might be telling you much more than he is actually saying, then you have the potential for a deep and lasting relationship.
Re Not attracted to these people anymore. Maybe I was feeling like a victim until now. And I feel I have to be responsible for my own life and I want someone who does the same. These patterns with relationships continued more than 8 years and I really feel repeating things over and over - I am exhausted and I really have to think how to change. Until 2025/2026? Does this mean, I won't be able to be in a healthy, successful relationship til these years? I think, I learned very subtly from this man, that you can help people, that you can truly care, but you have to set your own boundaries. I will help people, but you are right, I have to think why and to whom.
No, it doesn’t mean that you won’t be in a healthy, successful relationship until 2026 ! Neptune transiting the 7th House, especially in its own Sign of Pisces, can bring both confusing and deceptive relationships into your life, but also true and beautiful relationships. It’s the idealism that can cause the problem: the preference for the ideal rather than the reality that can result in disappointment. And certainly your Mercury in clear-headed Aquarius can help you there. I’m suspecting that Neptune in your 7th is trying to show you how to separate illusion from reality in all relationships, especially given that your Sun in Pisces is conjunct your 7th House cusp. It’s hard for the Sun here, especially in Pisces, to see a partner for who they are as it can tend to see its own reflection in others, rather than seeing the ‘other’ for who they really are.

On the other hand, Virgo Rising can analyse everything so much that the potential beauty of another disappears in a multitude of data and...eventual doubt. So in this sense, Neptune here works to dissolve that fact-finding/analysing ultimately destructive of a relationship quality and brings people into your life who defy constant definition, causing you to see the Ideal and casting a fog over the mundane facts. Ultimately, Neptune’s transit through this relationship area leads to a balance between illusion and reality. So, again...no, you won’t experience this in the same way throughout the duration of this long transit. I think that perhaps he’s teaching you this in some way; showing you these two facets of yourself.

Naturally, this is all about the work that you need to do, which may seem unfair. But unfortunately, you’re the one with the capacity and interest in understanding, so you’re the one who has to do this work. Sorry about that.
I overanalyzed again, because I wanted to give you some comments back (in the hopes to be useful for your work?) and because I wasn't sure I understood everything. Also, THANK you... for reminding me I have intuition... somehow after this week and your comments I feel more quiet, more "listen and wait, trust". I don't know why, but I have a very good feeling about this person, but what I also feel is that I should be alone for some time, as I mentioned above, and give room to the other person as well.
And thank you, yes – it is very useful for my work and - actually for myself too as I also have Virgo Rising and Neptune transiting my 7th, so in trying to explain and clarify this to you, I’m discovering my own experience of this.

(And I realise that I've used the same words 'ideal/practical' etc. over and over again, but there are only so many ways to say the same thing, so I hope you'll understand why the repetitiveness).

I do hope this helps.

Best,
Admin.
"Don't let the illusions of your past or future rob you of the infiniteness of your present." [Unknown]
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