Is this meant to last or a karmic relationship?

Note that synastry requires two charts to be set up and analysed so, before asking, please make sure that this is a serious relationship. This is a free board and our time to respond is limited.
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d3mon92
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Is this meant to last or a karmic relationship?

Post by d3mon92 » Sun Oct 27, 2019 4:00 am

Hi,

I am in a long distance relationship since past 3 years. There are no huge problems per se, but still I have started feeling trapped. Hence, I just wanted some guidance in that respect. That is, is this a temporary thing (due to some transits) , or is this an opportunity for me to evolve or this relationship has served its purpose and i should let it go now?
We both are little too emotional, have suffered from anxiety. This is initially what brought us together. Since then, some stuff has happened in my life and I had to seek therapy. Which has helped me a lot. I am once again, able to see brighter side of life. But my bf, is still not at same 'vibrational frequency' as me. He gets stressed about every other thing and then his mood will go down and he wont interact with anyone (not even me). Since, I have just now started my own healing process, I am not able to heal him too (which makes me feel trapped, i guess?). And it irritates me, and then makes me feel guilty for getting irritated.
On the other hand, breaking up because of this, doesn't feel right either. We have been through so much. This relationship has made me see my flaws and helped in my growth.
So, is there substance in our relationship? Can we make it last? Or did he only come in my life to facilitate my growth?

I would also like to mention, that I want to grow spiritually in this lifetime. So, if any relationship is creating troubles in that regard, or even stagnating that process, I would prefer to let it go. Currently, its like I'm trying to go up, and he keeps bringing me down. Is this always going to be this way (his Saturn opp my Sun)? Or I can facilitate his growth too? Or it would be easier to just let him go?

My birth details : 7 Aug, 1992. Gonda, India (27°8' N, 81°57' E)
His birth details : 15 Nov, 1992. Agartala, India (23°49' N ,91°16' E)

Our families are pushing for marriage and I am not even sure about future....its just really messy situation.

It would be really great, if you could help me out. Thanks in advance !

admin
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Re: Is this meant to last or a karmic relationship?

Post by admin » Sun Oct 27, 2019 8:44 am

Hello d3mon92,

Would you please give Time of Birth for both of you.

Thank you.

Best,
Admin.
"There are more things...likely to frighten us than there are to crush us; we suffer more often in imagination than in reality." Seneca

d3mon92
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Re: Is this meant to last or a karmic relationship?

Post by d3mon92 » Sun Oct 27, 2019 7:50 pm

Yeah, sorry I was so focussed on posting coordinates, forgot about birth time. Here are the details again

My birth details : 7 Aug, 1992. 10.45 pm. Gonda, India (27°8' N, 81°57' E)
His birth details : 15 Nov, 1992. 1.00 pm. Agartala, India (23°49' N ,91°16' E)

Our time is in IST which is GMT + 5.30.

Thank you once again for this

d3mon92
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Re: Is this meant to last or a karmic relationship?

Post by d3mon92 » Sun Nov 03, 2019 10:19 pm

Hi Admin,

Did you get a chance to look at my synastry/composite chart?

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Re: Is this meant to last or a karmic relationship?

Post by admin » Mon Nov 04, 2019 10:49 am

Hi d3mon92,

You mention that you are both ‘emotional’, however you feel and express ‘emotions in mostly quite different ways. Whereas he has Pisces Rising and Moon conjunct Mars in Cancer and Sun conjunct Pluto in Scorpio – all ‘watery’ or emotional/intuitive Signs, you on the other hand, have Moon in Sag, along with Mercury and Sun in Leo (fire Signs), and so your ‘emotionality’ is expressed in more of a passionate outgoing ‘fiery’ way.

Also with your Moon opposite Mars in airy intellectual Gemini, you are quick to anger but more likely to get over outbursts more quickly (in general). He has Moon conjunct Mars in Cancer as mentioned, and this is suggests that he gets very easily hurt and erupts in emotional outbursts as a form of self-defence.

You have one planet in water, and that is Pluto in Scorpio, and as this is in and ruling your 7th House/Relationships I feel that this relationship has perhaps put you more in touch with your own deeper emotions, or perhaps another way of putting that is ‘laid bare’ your deep unconscious feelings and emotions.

Certainly I’d say that with earthy practical/pragmatic Taurus Rising you are more able to get your feet back down on the ground so that you can re-balance yourself fairly quickly, at least in comparison. Nonetheless, both of you have (and have had for some time) some difficult aspects from Neptune – planet of confusion, and disillusion etc. He in particular has been having this transiting Neptune crossing back and forth across his Ascendant, creating all sorts of strange and weird feelings and sensitivities and illusions, and making it very difficult for him to ‘surface’/to see the reality of any situation, and to get the kind of treatment and help that you have found and clearly worked hard with.

Currently transiting Pluto and Saturn going through the Sign of Capricorn have given you the advantage too of working through your own issues. These 2 planets will be helping him tremendously in a similar way during this next year, but it will still be very hard for him as they will oppose his Moon/Mars and stir him up in ways that although ultimately of tremendous benefit for him, will no doubt create some powerful inner turmoil along the way.

This is surely an extremely relevant relationship for you both, which brings me to your words: “...did he only come in my life to facilitate my growth?”. Every relationship arrives to ‘facilitate our growth” in some way or other, and it isn’t for me to say when or whether you should ‘let it go’ as only you can make this decision. It depends on whether you want out because you’ve had enough, or whether you wish to end it because you really ‘know’ that from this point it is really bringing you down and that what you have come together to learn about yourself is as complete as it can be. Only you can ‘know’ this.

Perhaps you need a break, not only for yourself, but because he is going through so much internally that he can’t convey to you and needs time (or to be given time) alone to make his own inner progress. Clearly though, if you do feel he’s holding you back, then you must do what you feel is right for your own progress and growth.

Currently, transiting Mercury in Scorpio is retrograde and heading back to both your Pluto’s and so this is very much a time to think carefully before you make any final decisions. Perhaps wait until after Mercury turns direct (21st Nov.) or until Mercury re-crosses your Pluto in early December. In the meantime, are you able to discuss with him your feelings about your relationship ?

I haven’t gone into the inter-aspects between your charts here as the transits stood out as more important, but I’ll look further into the actual synastry next.

Hope this gives you a something to work with in the meantime.

Best,
Admin.

p.s. Forgot to mention transiting Uranus coming to the conjunction with your Asc. Will add about this next time as it's very important.
"There are more things...likely to frighten us than there are to crush us; we suffer more often in imagination than in reality." Seneca

d3mon92
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Re: Is this meant to last or a karmic relationship?

Post by d3mon92 » Mon Nov 04, 2019 5:41 pm

Wow, that's pretty accurate about most of the stuff. Only thing I don't know about what he is going through internally. He takes his time to share stuff and most of the time he wont.

About expressing emotions differently, I think he is more emotional than me. That coupled with his anxiety, it becomes too much for me. And it irritates me and then I feel like an insensitive fool. That I should be more empathetic, understanding and patient with him, but I am not. And I am not sure if I will ever learn this or instead grow to hate him for this.(1)***

You are also right about me being quick to anger and he getting easily hurt. Which makes me feel like walking on eggshells around him sometimes.(2)***

Right on spot with Pluto in Scorpio stuff also. There's always been some disconnect between me and my emotional side. (I grew up with thinking emotions make you weak). My way of coping was to make joke of things. He has taught me in a way, that its okay to be emotional :)
I should also mention that, not only there's disconnect between me and my emotional side, but also my relationship with my mom is f***ed up. We just don't get each other. At all. Whenever we are together, we are always fighting. Even though I love her very much, I don't get along with her.

Anyway, so I have couple of questions.
First. You said he has " transiting Neptune crossing back and forth across his Ascendant". How long is this going to last?

Second. Coupling (1)*** & (2)*** , that's what makes me feel restricted sometimes and I get frustrated. Is this because of his Saturn opp my Sun? OR, I need to get more in touch with my emotional side, become more understanding to him?

I agree with you on the point that every relationship helps us to grow in some way. Recently I started reading about karmic relationships and soulmate relationships. Both presents you with challenges which help you evolve. But karmic relationships aren't meant to last (According to net). Now, onto the main karmic confusion....it was written that in synastry, when one's saturn opposes personal planets, or chiron contacts to personal planets and etc etc, indicate karmic relationship.

Can i post external links here? I will add the links for those articles on karmic relationships at the end.

Since in my natal chart , Saturn is opposite to Sun....and then its again there in our synastry also... I'm worried that this constant war which I feel inside my head will also be reflected in my life, if I go through this relationship.

Then again, there's just something about this whole relationship, that I can't seem to leave it either (hence looking for guidance).

Articles on karmic relationships:
https://www.dooroflotus.com/blog/karmic-relationships-in-astrology?format=amp


Below one is not exactly about karmic..
https://theinnerwheel.com/2011/02/08/soul-points-in-synastry-the-vertex-versus-the-nodes-part-two/

Do share your thoughts on what do you think about whole karmic relationships in general. :)

Thanks,
Sneha

d3mon92
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Re: Is this meant to last or a karmic relationship?

Post by d3mon92 » Mon Nov 04, 2019 5:52 pm

"Perhaps wait until after Mercury turns direct (21st Nov.) or until Mercury re-crosses your Pluto in early December.". Okay, will wait.

"In the meantime, are you able to discuss with him your feelings about your relationship ?". I did tell him that, since I am also in therapy, I am not able to handle his mood swings too. And instead they make me feel suffocated. But didn't touch upon breakup, since even I am not very clear if I want to or not.

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Re: Is this meant to last or a karmic relationship?

Post by admin » Tue Nov 05, 2019 11:07 am

Thanks for the link and I thought it was a very interesting article, well written and with some very interesting and useful information. Personally, I prefer not to use the term ‘karmic’ as it can so easily be used as a kind of excuse for not making any personal effort, such as in “Oh well...it’s my karma so I can’t do anything about it...” etc. (Though having said that, I do use it at times as it’s frequent use means that it can convey at least something of the strength and relevance of a particular relationship or situation).

Re the Vx matter and article, also very interesting and although really informative, I’m not sure that I would entirely agree with all that’s written there. But then, astrologers are renowned for our inability to agree – for the most part. In the end it’s up to each individual of course, as to what ‘feels right’ for them, so if something feels right and works for you, stick with it until or if you find from your own experience that it doesn’t work.

Back to your relationship. Your strong Saturn connections - both his and your Saturns opposite your Sun...and square your Pluto (and in fact his Saturn is in close square to his own Sun/Pluto) alone suggest a constant blocking of any urge by you to move forward, or even sideways so to speak, and hence the ensuing frustration and feeling like you’re getting nowhere. And that’s not all as his Saturn is in square to your Asc./Desc. and opposite your Mercury/Chiron !

There is however, his Mercury in Sag. conjunct your Moon and in trine to your own Mercury, and so communication is the key, especially if and when you’re able to view all the issues from a higher and wider perspective. Add his Jupiter trine his Mercury and sextile your Mercury, and this increases the former possibility and adds the quality of forgiveness and potentially great growth.

Add too your Jupiter sextile his Sun/Pluto and this capacity for growth and generosity between you is doubled. Your Venus’s are in trine too which adds a gentle and loving connection.

But really, there is so much going on in this relationship and I just don’t know whether these excellent contacts just mentioned will be enough to carry you both through the more intense and difficult ones. Certainly if you do get through this very demanding and challenging time, I feel that both of you will have to keep working constantly on yourselves and perhaps most of all, always know that you will have to allow each other space to be separate individuals. This is so very hard to do with strong Pluto connections as it can tend to need to or try to ‘possess’ the other, and to try to make them be what we want them to be. (You might enjoy this superb article on this matter: https://www.brainpickings.org/2016/09/2 ... -marriage/ ).

In your Composite chart, Pluto is in the 8th House which desperately wants/needs to merge completely with the ‘other’ without realising that this is underneath the agonies of the need to be separate (transiting Uranus coming to your Asc. emphasises this need to be separate from another or others in order to establish yourself as an individual)...hence the internal battle you are experiencing at this time and more so next year.

Re your relationship with your mother, well it’s interesting that his Moon/Mars in Cancer is conjunct your 4th House cusp (traditionally ‘Mother’ but especially so as the Moon rules Cancer and therefore your 4th and your own Moon is opposite your Mars). This is also relevant to having to keep ‘walking on eggshells’ around him. And it suggests that his needs and reactions automatically activate the same responses and reactions from you as with your mother...in other words, even though he’s a different person and you have a different relationship with him, nonetheless his words, feelings, reactions press the same buttons. I’d suggest that this is something you need to be aware of and try to stop yourself before you respond in the same way you do to her, after all, he is a different person and not your mother, who you are unconsciously reacting too at that moment.

Re your question re transiting Neptune and his Asc., I’d suggest that his time of birth has been rounded off to the nearest hour and as Neptune moves slowly anyway, it won’t be a ‘cut off’ point but a general shift relevant to other planets that Neptune aspects at and from this time.

That’s as far as I can go at this point and I hope gives you a little more to think about and research.

Best,
Admin.
"There are more things...likely to frighten us than there are to crush us; we suffer more often in imagination than in reality." Seneca

d3mon92
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Re: Is this meant to last or a karmic relationship?

Post by d3mon92 » Sat Nov 09, 2019 5:10 am

I have read and reread your interpretations so many times, there's just so much information to absorb. Thank you again for so much effort :)

I wanted one clarification...

As far as I know, Saturn is termed as hard taskmaster, that is, you will keep on facing same challenges, same patterns, till you are able to learn from it. So if in synastry, we have Saturn connections, is it possible to learn and evolve from them? Or we just keep on facing same issues again and again?

"transiting Uranus coming to your Asc. emphasises this need to be separate from another or others in order to establish yourself as an individual" ....this is very true right now and not just related to relationship. I feel like resigning from my job, take my cat and go on a sabbatical.

"And it suggests that his needs and reactions automatically activate the same responses and reactions from you as with your mother."... I wasn't even aware of this. I will have to pay more attention on my reactions to him.

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